Will she come back?
I started dating this girl 3 months ago. Let's call her Megan for the sake of the story. Unfortunately the timing was terrible, because I had recently left a 6-year relationship. We continued to hang out and get to know each other, although we knew deep down that our feelings for each other were very real/intense and that we had a very deep emotional connection. She met my family, we hung out almost every weekend, shared a lot of deep thoughts, secrets and traumas. After a few months went by, I started to realize that I really liked her, but the relationship was still unclear, and we didn't establish boundaries. One day I decided to invite her (Megan) and another friend (John) over to my place, and eventually we decided to go out that night with another friend (Jessica). Jessica and I have been friends for years, and I was excited to introduce her to Megan since the bond had grown so much. But after one too many beers, I have no idea why I decided to give Jessica a kiss. I instantly told Megan, and I explained that it was a mistake and I had no idea why I did that, but I was very sorry. She was really hurt but gave me the space to apologize, and then we continued to hang out for the next few days.
A week went by, and I was invited to an event with her and some friends. Although I was interested, I chose to stay home because the last weekend was so draining that I needed to relax. My friend John invited himself to the plans with Megan, and that night, they shared a kiss. Megan told me that it meant nothing and that it was a mistake, but she felt like she was hurt, and she did it to spite me. They both apologized to me directly and it seemed very sincere, although I continued to feel uncomfortable about the situation. They said that they just wanted to pursue a friendship with each other. That same day that she expressed what had happened, she ended things with me. She said that she didn't see us having a healthy relationship moving forward, and that how everything unraveled was unhealthy. She felt like it was out of character for her to have behaved the way she did, and that the feelings she felt (towards me) brought out the worst in her. That same night I slept over her house. The day after she told me everything, we had breakfast, and I left her house, absolutely heartbroken and sad to be losing someone so special but understanding that I had to accept this is not what she wanted anymore. But later that day, I find out that John and Megan were hanging out and I became extremely jealous and uncomfortable. I knew John was at Megans house, hanging by the pool, so I showed up and I asked questions. I wanted to know what was going on, which they further kept affirming that they were just friends, and that Megan just needed someone to talk to. I left, but then later that night I went back. I knocked on her door and pleaded to talk to her, although nothing had changed about how she felt. She didn't want to pursue a relationship with me anymore; she thinks that it was unhealthy and that she didn't see potential for a romantic relationship with me. She said that I deserved someone that chose me, and that I deserved better, but she told me that she could try to pursue a friendship with me. At this point I'm feeling lost. How can a person that shared the same intense feelings, be OK with losing me as a love interest?
She asked to give her a few days to process her feelings and to have another conversation, but unfortunately, I felt this was unfair. I was selfish, and I reached out to her before the allotted time, and I told her that I felt there was no point in waiting for the inevitable. I wouldn't be OK with being friends, it would be very challenging for me. I also felt a little uncomfortable with the new-found friendship between Megan and John. The last time I spoke to her was that day, when I called her to have the conversation, in which she felt disrespected because I didn't allow her the time and space to think and process her emotions.
Beyond all this, I still feel a lot of love for Megan, and I wish so badly we could have another conversation, come to some agreement or talk things out in a more amicable way. I miss her so much it feels like there's something wrapped around my throat anytime that I think of her. There's also a pit in my stomach when I think of a reality in which she's no longer in my life. She was very special to me, and I grew extremely close and attached to her. I guess my question through all this, will she come back? Should I text her?