u/Emotional-Security45

I (23M) have been extremely good friends with "Selena" (23F) since year 8 of high school. I had a crush on her for 2 years in high school and eventually confessed to her but was turned down.

We remained really close friends with me making a strong effort not to let things become awkward. We've both dated other people since. I was in a 5 year relationship that ended and have been more or less single since, going on dates and the very occasional hook-ups but nothing ever becoming serious.
She has dated 3 guys which many people kept jokingly pointing out to me, looked and acted exactly like me. This, unfortunately, grew into me having false hope in regards to how she might feel about me.

We have talked many MANY times about the fact that she doesn't have any attraction to me, that she doesn't view me as anything more than a brother. Unfortunately I also then lie and return the sentiment.

Recently she's had some of the worst things imaginable happen. I won't go into details at risk of exposing the both of us. She has many friends but I'm the only one that she talks to about these things, she can't afford a therapist but does understand the benefits to seeing one.

Last night she came over and we got drunk together, it was a great night, playing video games, drinking wine. Eventually the conversation shifted to her situation and she broke down into tears, I held her and we just sat like that, her crying in my arms and me reassuring her for over an hour. I felt like a monster because I had the tiny voice in the back of my mind telling me that tonight could have gone differently. I got her an Uber back to her house and just felt like a horrible friend.

I don't know how to get over my feelings for her, it's been their for almost a decade now. I'm lucky to be very unconsciously monogamous, so that whenever I'm in a relationship, any unplatonic feelings I have for her fade away leaving only my love for her as a friend. But having been single for 2 years now, I can’t squash my feelings.

So WIBTAH if I asked for some space? I sort sort of feel like she's owed honesty from me if I did ask for space. I'd hate for her to think she had done something wrong when it was absolutely not her fault that I feel this way.

Basically the title, I'm aware that Silent Hill 2 (and I assume the rest of the series) is dripping with metaphorical imagery and storylines. As someone with, more or less, average media literacy skills, will I understand what's going on by the end of my playthrough, or is SH2 a watch an analysis video afterward type situation.

I'm currently on my way to the Historical Society Building and was realising that I might not be grasping as much depth as I'm meant to be. My 22 year old brain might be too full of nonsense to comprehend what's going on.

So far this is what I've been able to grasp.

• James' wife, Mary, died of a disease several years before the game takes place.
• James comes to Silent Hill to find her after he receives a letter from her, despite her being dead.
• Other people seem to also be in the town ,however they never alert James to the various creatures roaming around. This leads me to believe they don't see them, or at least they aren't seeing the same ones.
• James encounters Maria, a hyper-sexualised version of Mary his wife, who seems to have no relation to Mary despite appearance and a similiar sounding name.
• James is incredibly bad with children, as seen by his interactions with Laura where he is quick to snap at her and can't say please after she locks the door on him in the hospital.
  • This possibly indicates to me that he potentially lost a child, or was fighting with Mary over whether or not they should have kids. I don't know but some kind of child-based-trauma exists in James' psyche and I WILL find out what.
• The 'other-world' segments are a sign of this 'disease' discussed in memos found throughout the hospital. This could be the same 'disease' Mary died of. Definitely is whatever James is suffering from.
• Angela is definitely suffering from PTSD. Her actions are very in line with behaviours I've personally witnessed from loved ones suffering. It is such a realistic portrayal I had to stop playing for a week the first time we see her spaced out with the knife as it was very reminiscent of interactions I've had. Amazing acting by Gianna Kiehl's.
• James possibly has a misogynistic view of women, or is struggling with some form of sexual repression. The nurses in the hospital are all hyper-sexualised. Some enemies we fight seem to be literally just be a pair of women's legs. The towns depiction of his wife is quite sexualised and is overtly caring towards him. I really hope this of all things is explored further as I've never seen a game depict this kind of dangerous mentality.
• I think Pyramid Head appears to somewhat allude to the medical industry as a whole. Him killing Maria, someone I assumed is James' Silent Hill version of Mary, led me to this, somewhat shallow, conclusion. Mary died from a disease and maybe James blames the doctors for it.
• My very shallow halfway(?) point analysis is that Silent Hill is a metaphor for suicide. James wants to follow his wife into death. Knowing it's dangerous, he has to face his traumas and memories before ending his own life to finally be with her. I still don't know if it's literal in its execution though. If James has actually gone to a town called Silent Hill in an attempt to end his own life, or if this is all just a depiction of the struggles he is internal facing. Most likely it is both.

Not looking for complete confirmation if I'm right or wrong on those little statements. Just wanted to write down my thoughts halfway through so that if I am WILDLY misintepreting the game I can be told.