u/Emotional-Tip3706

When I was a child I spent countless hours at a friend's house down the street. Spent the night multiple times. The mom used to pick us up from school as part of a carpool situation. When, as an adult, I remembered some odd things about their home life, my mother said "yeah I think she may have had a drug problem." I cannot imagine letting my children spend unsupervised time with someone with a drug problem. Especially if she was going to be driving.

I also found out that my mother knew that my uncle by marriage had at least attempted to molest my younger aunt, and years later as a child allowed me to spend the night at that uncle's home with my cousins (nothing happened).

Please help me work through this. Is this related to both of my parents BPD and my mothers histrionic tendencies or is this a separate problem?

Velvet button nose
Twitching at the morning breeze —
Whiskers greet the dawn

I was at my parents house for mothers day and we actually had a decent visit. My dad is ubpd and my mom is somewhere between bpd and histrionic personality disorder. After a conflict free and calm visit, 2 days later I get some angry texts that my 9 year old son took the top off of their gumball machine to get some prizes out and left a mess. They claim its happened a couple of times, we are only there once a month. He shouldn't have done that, but the gumball machine is for the grandchildren. This is a situation where I know we did something wrong...but I just can't imagine feeling the need to send an angry text days later about a grandchild leaving a mess. Am I too sensitive? Am I over reacting?? I have no idea how to sense the appropriateness of my feelings. I'm ok with not being validated if I am in the wrong. I know they are in a bit of a tizzy about hantavirus and I wonder if they are just distracting themselves?

*edit: I apologized and they acted like it was totally no big deal and then asked me to go camping with them. I have whiplash.