i need to vent…
i just got formally diagnosed with level 1 autism at 25 years old. at first i felt relief, then grief, now its just confusion. idk whats real anymore or how to trust my judgement. i feel like ive completely misinterpreted everyone and everything my whole life. im so self conscious and i worry so much that im being weird or naive now. ive barely told anyone that ive been diagnosed and it never went as well as i wanted to with the people i did. they didnt really even seem to believe me or they gave me responses like “everyones a little autistic”, “dont use that as a crutch”, “youre still the same person you were”. or maybe they did think something was wrong with me my whole life idk whos lying anymore. also, i know its a spectrum, but ive never met anyone who has anything similar to the type of autism i have. everyone else seems to have it much more severe which makes me question if i even have it. especially as a woman…also i come from a middle eastern background, is there nobody that has level 1 autism from my demographic? i feel most self conscious around my own people now. idk i feel so alone and i cant talk about this with anyone in my life. i feel so much shame and have been distancing myself from everyone now