u/EmotionalStoics

I’ve posted in here before and wanted to get some more advice on a path I should take. But like the title says my family died. I had a brother, a sister, a mom and dad that all passed when I was in my early teens and I’m now in my early 20’s.

Had an absolutely amazing family that all died in a car accident. It was extremely hard to get used to. I didn’t have anyone else to take care of me besides a shitty aunt I had who was depressed and weirdly enough I wasn’t. I thought I was fine until a few years ago I had this episode that was triggered from stress amongst many other things and it put me into an extremely depressed state for about 2 months. I didn’t realize I’ve been disassociating this entire time which means I’ve never really cried.

I got out of it and a few years later I had felt like I was doing well and then I started getting some wild physical symptoms when life calmed down for me.

I thought I had a brain tumor or something wild and got every test and scan known to man and everything came back clean which was annoying because I was feeling every symptom. I’ve never been one to go to doctors or therapists and it became so bad that I ubered to a ER because I couldn’t breathe and thought I was dying.

My symptoms are these and wanted to know if this is consistent with CPTSD and what other people have done to help and what I have done as well.

I’m going to list off some symptoms

- started off with vision lagging
- turned into dizziness that felt like I was spinning around for 24 hours a day
- felt a nose blockage, could not breathe through my nose at all, even got a sinus and nose surgery because I was so convinced this was the cause of everything.
-disassociation, felt like I was not in my own body
-insomnia, no problem getting to sleep but I wake up at 3am every morning.
-always somewhat tired even with great diet
- Diarrhea
- the craziest neck tension that didn’t allow me to sleep as well
- twitching especially when I start calming myself or doing slow exhales
- head feeling like it is the weight of a bowling ball

How I’ve fixed some, still not fully better but so much better than a few months ago.

- Lexapro 5MG seemed to turn down the noise and has been the most important
- Running and consistent lifting which is the last thing u want to do in that state. I believe I’ve been holding stuck tears and this has helped clear my nose up some but I have to run a lot to achieve this and then I can snot rocket so much shit out and finally breathe. I cannot just blow my nose nothing comes out. Running helps when you are in those high anxiety states
-Somatic Breathing and walking (the steady coach’s on YouTube really helped me with this)
- small amount of THC
-Yoga, even a 15 minute yoga video
-Cold ass showers, just sit in it for a few minutes and you will feel like a normal human for a bit after.

Let me know if some of these symptoms are stuff you guys are dealing with and let me know if you have any ideas on other stuff I can do. There’s a lot of stuff I did not list on here too.