Never Ending cycle
I'm a college student and I have yet to make a single friend. I feel like I'm missing out on something but then at the same time I like being alone. I had a good amount of friends in HS but not a ton. I somehow managed to push most of them away and I regret it but not having that weight of friendships is relieving. I want friends but at the same time I don't. This world of loneliness was created by me and I want to escape it but I continue to live in it willingly. I was talking to someone for about a month but that ended with me cutting them iff bc I felt like they weren't interested in talking anymore. I still think it was good for me to cut it off because the anxiety of creating a text they'd respond to and constantly checking for a response was too much. I try not to think about it but it pops up once in a while and it makes me sad. Ig I'm just sad :(