Thank you to all the unknown advocates here.
Cross-posted at r/Caregiversupport
My Mom just passed after an 8-year battle with dementia. I'm glad she's at peace, now, and can't help feeling a little guilty that I'm also relieved. I know that's permissible and normal, but guilt isn't something you can turn on and off.
I've been a long-time lurker here and occasional advice-giver. I just wanted to say thank you. I learned a lot, got some good perspectives when I needed them desperately, and just seeing others facing the same issues I had was what I needed, sometimes.
I didn't see it for most (all?) of the time, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The ordeal will end for each of us, one way or another. It's funny how the brain works--now all I can think of are the good times I had with her, and now that I actually miss having her around that's what I'm thinking of.
She loved shopping. She liked making bad jokes and laughing with family and friends. She used to watch all the birds and squirrels and have entire conversations with them. Cats and dogs paying any attention to her would make her explode with joy.
The memories of screaming, crying, door-slamming, unfounded anger and paranoia are fading quickly.
Anyway, thanks again. My advice would be to try to enjoy and cultivate the little moments of joy you're still having with your family member or friend. They'll mean a lot to you, one day, and the cleaning, despondence and weariness will not be what sticks with you, I'll bet.