Am I the asshole?
My husband and I have only had a few encounters in the lifestyle. I’m more open with it than he is, he is definitely still struggling with jealousy but we’ve made a lot of progress with communication.
Our first play partners that we had have actually turned into good friends of ours. We do vanilla things with them all the time. Trivia nights, going out to eat, etc. We probably do more vanilla things with them than meeting them at lifestyle events. We haven’t played with them in over six months, although the other wife and I made out for like 30 seconds at a recent lifestyle resort party, just for funzies.
We did discuss that we don’t think it’s appropriate for us to hang out with other couples solo. We will always be together.
But with these specific friends, since we don’t plan on ever really playing with them again, I’ve kind of put them in the platonic vanilla pile, but still lifestyle adjacent.
Cut to: this couple invited us to go to this local line dancing country place. Purely vanilla, it’s ladies night so we figure why the hell not, let’s have some fun. My husband does not want to go because he’s not a big dancer. So I propose to him that I can bring one of my good vanilla girl friends who knows this couple also, just because I want to go dance. Well, my husband threw a fit and said that I was disrespecting him and that this was a big boundary for us and I’m crossing the line.
I asked again if he could come if he doesn’t want me to go alone. And he doesn’t want to because he doesn’t like to go out during the week.
I guess I just want some opinions on this situation.. I think it’s fucking stupid that he’s being so dramatic about it. I told him he needs to evaluate this specific rule for the specific people in these kind of specific situations. I would never go with them to a LS event, or anywhere that was considered scandalous or inappropriate, even though we’ll probably never play together again. But for this, there’s an obvious trust issue that he can’t get past.
I’ve always been very respectful of all of his boundaries, in which he has a lot more than me lol. Please advise.
As of now, I don’t think I’m gonna go because I don’t wanna deal with the headache. But it makes me sad that I can’t do something as simple as this. Just a bit frustrated.