u/Emotional_Sense7921

When you are getting to know someone via arranged marriage, one person is more inclined than other.

As a guy, what should or shouldn’t be done for someone you get really inclined to. I found someone really compatible and beautiful and we have met four times and I always bring something for her.

At this point, I have started developing some feelings too and I also know it’s not being reciprocated so much.

I am afraid that I might hurt myself as well but then I feel why should I not be my best for someone if I like them.

I feel it’s so pure when you can naturally do things for the other person. This is still AM for her, and she just always appreciate it a lot.

What do you guys suggest, should I stop putting in so much efforts?

I don’t do anything with expectations that it would turn into love or something, I just genuinely like doing it for her!

TLDR at end.

I connected with someone around 2 months ago via shaadi app. First, her Dad had a brief call with me about some basics, and then he agreed that both of us should talk.

Then, I texted her and we had some on and off chat for around a week because both of us were travelling and busy.

Then, we had some initial calls that went really good, we discussed everything and they were long calls for around 2-3 hrs.

I started feeling good about this as I have had bad experience from these apps earlier, and we planned to meet.

First meet: It went really well, and it was quite natural, conversation flowed, humour came out, stories lined up and we were hanging out for around 6 hours till 3 am. It felt everything is just going magical.

Then, came a pause for 15 days because she had to be in her hometown. We didn't chat and call much during this period, I thought she might not be interested , then she told me she will meet after she is back. I was like okay.

Second meet: We met, again it was a natural flow of conversation, banter, we shared stories and it was an amazing fun time!

Again, came a pause of around 10-15 days and we were having some chats and calls.

Third meet: Went well, everything felt smooth, it started to feel like we know each other quite well and honestly someone I would like to spend my life with as how natural it was to connect. It's just so rare to find this connect.

Before we met again, I clearly told her meetings are fine but there is this connection gap that stays. For which she said, She feels good and everything is fine but she is not able to convince herself that she should go ahead and marry, she is not getting it from inside that she is ready to marry and that's why she is unable to invest her time completely in this. I clearly asked her if she wants to see other prospects, or if her family wants to see other prospects , to which she said she is not seeing anyone, I also believe so because she is quite occupied in her life to see someone.

Fourth meet: It was again all fun and roses, and just went quite natural like past three.

Now, she is suggesting me that we should involve families and let them meet because this would be never ending loop otherwise, and if families are okay to move forward then probably she can be fully committed to this as well.

Is it common for people aged around 30, to not have inner voice say they are ready for marriage? I also feel that inner voice that feels sparks dies out after certain time and you gotta look at filters.

Please suggest me if I should continue this, I am more into her than she is into me for sure. Should we let families meet and see how it goes? I don't wanna ruin this in any way.

TLDR

Met girl for four times, meetings always are funny, natural, and feels great to be with her and they are naturally long meets. In between the meets, chats and calls are less engaged as the meets are , and calls are quite less too like once in 3-4 days. She is saying she is not getting that inner voice about this to move forward because of age and adulting and suggesting the families should meet , and if families like each other then probably she would feel good to move ahead as well. Should I move ahead with family meeting? I don't wanna lose her , what should I do?