Help!!!
I really need opinions on this. I am an older (50ish) cam model. I have a boyfriend whom is a bit younger than me (14 years.) He is literally right there when I am on cam and when I do privates. He knows how disgusted I have become by some of the men. In particular, those that have wives or girlfriends and are doing this behind their back. Don't get me wrong, there are subsets of the male population that I understand why they reach out to the platforms; younger men that have not yet dated or been with a woman, socially awkward fellas afraid to talk to women, men whom are lonely, and even those with fetishes that don't feel comfortable with anyone knowing about. But those guys that have girlfriends/wives that they claim to love and respect, they make me sick. He knows how I feel about it. Well, I was looking at his Snapchat that he said he deleted, and discovered he has been paying these 2 females for pics/vids. While it does bother me that he chooses to display this characteristic that I am disgusted by, my real issue is the web of lies that he's told in order to cover this up. I straight up asked him about one call that was made several months back, and he swore up and down it was about something else, the name of a Dr where I could get help for my back. He made the call at 3:30 am, from freshly downloaded What's App, and sent $20🙄 He really played it up, telling me it was for me, so I could get help,literally making me feel guilty for thinking he would do that. Claiming this chick 'looks like a dude' and is unattractive. I chose to believe him but then last night found where he asked her for some vids. In a way I feel bad for feeling so angry because he sees me doing this for other men. However he has sworn up and down he's ok with it. When I talk to these guys it's straight up business for me. To think of him as on the other side of that, especially when he has me, makes me so mad at the same time. I can't even look at him the same now. Do you think I will be able to get past this? I don't feel like I can trust him at all. I mean I know it was just a sneaky vid request, but he did it at my house. Paid for the first one with my money. Lied about it. And repeated. I love him, but now I'm thinking I don't even know him😭