It's my birthday (21NB) and my best friend (21M) is back from ghosting me for two months, how can I tell him that it made me upset ?
Hello, this is my first time writing a reddit post, but I really don't know how I should react here..
It's almost all in the title, my best friend, who lives in a different city, hasn't answered any of of my messages in two months, even though it's generally rare if we don't talk for two weeks.
For a bit more context, the last time we talked he was kind of in a mental health crisis because of something bad happening to his bf. (We communicate through discord, but in theory I could have reached out via message or another app.) But basically after the end of that conversation he just stopped answering dms, but was still active on discord servers and I had to ask a mutual friend to make sure he was relatively okay.
The problem is that it's kind of a pattern for him to unload his problems onto me and then I stop being relevant. The venting isn't a problem because I'm the one who offered and I'm rather flattered that he trusts me for this kind of things that he might have a harder time talking about to someone else. But even though we've known each other for years and I'm sure we genuinely see each other as friends, I'm unhappy about him rn so it might not sound like it but he's funny, interesting and generous. Still I've never felt like I had the space or the comfort needed to vent to him too even though he also said multiple times that I could.
And I know that he wasn't doing well these past few months, plus he's nd so remembering stuff isn't always his strength, but he also knows that I wasn't doing well too, I've had to switch to online classes because of my shtty mental health. So I guess I feel a bit wronged, and hurt in my ego, and that it feels unfair. I know better than anyone how he must have been feeling and it's also the dynamic we have but yeah..
Also I might be more emotional than usual so idk if I'm being reasonable or not. As I said in the title it's my birthday today, yay (Tbh I didn't even think he'd message me). I usually feel at least okay on me birthdays but rn I feel really bad... My mother is watching tv on her own, dad is away, bf sent a message (!) and my other best friend sent a message too after accidentally ghosting me as well, I feel great! Anyone else (including my brother who messaged me earlier today) hasn't said anything. I shouldn't be upset about that because my closest people are kind of all dealing with their stuff and the day isn't even over too, but idk why I feel really bad.
Any advice on how I should handle my personal relationships, in particular this best friend of mine ?
Also I'm really sorry if I sound incoherent or it's all messy, it's kind of urgent