Feeling defeated
Hi all, I’m feeling really down and defeated almost 6 weeks pp with my supply.
My daughter was born at 36 weeks via c-section and became unwell following birth requiring time in NICU to stabilise. We previously lost our son 3 years ago at 13 days old so the whole NICU experience with our daughter triggered our PTSD. During this time I was unable to harvest any colostrum no matter how much I tried to express probably due to stress. We were advised to always top her up with formula to keep her stable and allow her to gain weight as needed. During the time in hospital and then at home I was allowing her to latch to breasts whilst pumping on the other to try and increase output. She would always fall asleep at the breast and was advised to use a hospital grade electric pump on both breasts instead of latching her to increase my supply.
I have been exclusively pumping since 1week pp 8-12x daily and added in a power pump 1-2x daily to try and increase output. So far I have hardly seen any change in my supply and can get 4-5oz in a 24 hour period.
I feel my body is failing to provide for my baby and being attached to the pump every 2-3 hours is exhausting and making me feel trapped. (Wearable pumps seem to not work for me as I’m able to express way less).
My health visitor told me that it would not be possible at this stage to get to exclusively pumping or breastfeeding due to my supply not increasing but no one can tell me why. I feel I’ve tried so hard and done everything the midwives have advised and it’s just not happening.
Has anyone else had this kind of experience where their supply has increased from 6 weeks onwards or should I start to wean off pumping and switch to formula? Everything I read is telling me to give up but I feel so much guilt in even thinking it. I just want to do the absolute best for my daughter and give her everything.
Any advice is welcome as I’m completely disheartened by the whole experience.