Should I still meet this guy from Hinge today? I’m not familiar with Canadian dating culture and would like some outside opinions.
I’m a Chinese woman and I’m still not very familiar with dating culture here. I told a few friends about what happened, and they strongly advised me not to meet him. I’m trying not to overreact, so I’d really like to hear how people here would interpret this situation.
I matched with a guy on Hinge two days ago, and we’ve been chatting for about two days.
Last night, he initially suggested meeting at around 9:30 PM. He said he could pick me up. I told him that was too late for me, so we talked about meeting today instead. We eventually agreed on roughly 5 or 6 PM today, but we never decided on a specific place. He said we could discuss the plan today.
I have a midterm exam next Monday, and I told him that I didn’t want dating to interfere with my study schedule. I initially suggested waiting until after my exam to meet.
During our phone call last night, he kept saying things like, “Don’t you want to meet me?” He also said that if I wanted to see him, he would be willing to drive over and meet me even though it was already around 10 PM.
What I find confusing is that he repeatedly told me that everything was my decision and that he wasn’t putting any pressure on me. I never felt that he explicitly forced me to do anything.
But at the same time, I noticed that my decision kept changing during the conversation because of the things he was saying.
For example, I initially wanted to wait until after my exam. Then I changed it to Sunday. Then we ended up discussing meeting today. Each time, he would say that it was completely up to me, but he would continue talking about how much he wanted to see me and suggesting that we meet sooner.
So I’m having a hard time understanding the dynamic.
On the surface, he is saying, “I respect your decision. You choose.”
But my experience is that I keep changing a decision that I was originally quite firm about after talking to him. That makes me wonder whether I’m simply experiencing normal enthusiasm from someone who wants to meet me, or whether there is something uncomfortable about the way he is influencing the decision while still saying that he is not putting pressure on me.
There is another thing that makes me uncomfortable.
We still haven’t agreed on a specific place to meet today. He keeps saying that he can pick me up. He also said that after he picks me up, whether we go to his place to watch hockey would be completely up to me.
I told him something like, “Have you considered that even if I really like you after meeting you, I still might not want to go to your place?”
He said he understood. He also said that even if I didn’t like him after meeting, he could still drive me home.
What makes me uncomfortable is that this would be our first time meeting in person, but there still isn’t a clear public meeting location. Instead, the plan seems to be that he picks me up, and then I decide whether I want to go to his place.
So I’m wondering:
Is this normal dating behavior in Ottawa/Canada, and am I reading too much into it?
Would other people see this as normal enthusiasm from someone who really wants to meet, or would you also find the combination of “it’s completely your choice” + repeatedly encouraging me to change my decision uncomfortable?
I’d especially appreciate perspectives from people familiar with the local dating culture. I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me whether he is a “good” or “bad” person. I’m mainly trying to understand whether this interaction would make other people uncomfortable too, and whether I should still meet him today.