r/OttawaDatingScene

I thought it might be nice to have a more positive dating discussion today. What has been the kindest thing someone has ever done for you on a first date? ❤️

It does not necessarily have to be some grand romantic gesture. Sometimes the smallest things can make the biggest impression like being genuinely attentive, making sure you feel comfortable, remembering something you mentioned beforehand in your online chats, being respectful of your boundaries that you made clear beforehand, or maybe simply making an effort to make the experience enjoyable for both people. I think dating conversations can sometimes focus so much on bad experiences, ghosting, red flags, and awkward dates that we forget there are also some genuinely wonderful people out there!

So spill that sweet fuze tea guys and ladies what is something someone did on a first date that really stuck with you? Just maybe this can give us lost souls here on the Ottawa dating subreddit a few ideas for how to make someone’s first date experience a little kinder.

The men who are currently in their 30s and were active on Plenty of Fish back in the day may have also experienced this one I am sharing. I had a first date with a woman at the Golden Palace in Carlingwood. You can't go wrong with their egg rolls, they are some of the best you can get! You should see the lines when they are half price. They are literally longer than Carling Avenue itself. I was super nervous! Anyone with social anxiety knows exactly what I mean you basically have the entire date planned out in your notebook with all your talking points like you are preparing for a job interview. You have got your conversation starters, backup questions, and contingency plans ready to go just in case your brain suddenly decides to forget how human conversation works. It must have worked because I did get a second date yippee!

I was actually nervous about walking home afterwards because it was already dark outside. She was such a genuinely good person that she made sure I got home safely even though it was cold and raining. She spent an entire hour of her own time just making sure I felt safe and comfortable. I do not know about you but I think your time is one of the best gifts you can give someone. She could have simply said goodbye and gone home but instead she chose to spend that extra hour looking out for me. That kind of kindness really stuck with me from ten years ago to today and I try to repay it forward each day.

She lives out of province now and is married. I could not be happier for her. She had such a positive impact on my life and knowing that she is building a life with someone she loves makes me a happy man. She also helped make me become a kinder person and taught me to see the beauty in other people in a way I had not before. I will always be grateful that our paths crossed and for the person she helped me become. Also. I was literally bragging for years to anyone that would listen that I had dated Miss Ottawa. I always thought she was the most beautiful woman in both heart and soul and that meant so much more to me than looks ever could. Not going to lie, she looked amazing as well.

Looks like I have been the one chosen to temporarily fill in for our favourite dad who is always there to ask the hard but necessary questions. After all someone here has to keep us honest and make sure the important questions do not go unasked!

I am curious to hear from others about their experiences with dating and disability, especially here in Ottawa or even elsewhere in Ontario due to it being a provincial matter. Dating can already come with plenty of challenges as we all know, we did end up on Reddit for it lol but I think there is an additional layer when one person receives disability income or benefits. There can be concerns about accessibility, independence, and the assumptions people make about what someone can or can’t do. But one issue that does not get talked about enough is the financial side of relationships.

In Ontario ODSP (Ontario Disability Support Program) is income tested meaning that a person’s benefits can be reduced when their spouse or partner (lived together for 3 months) earns income. That can create a really uncomfortable situation where getting into a serious relationship could potentially have financial consequences for the disabled person. I believe a healthy relationship should be about companionship and building a life together, not having to worry that your partner’s employment could leave you significantly worse off financially.

For those who date while receiving disability benefits has this ever affected how you approach relationships? Have you ever worried about becoming financially dependent on a partner from the fear of losing benefits?

Hi i’m a 25f looking for M 23-38

I’m kinda of a nerd, love pokémon and anime. I play video games and crochet on my free time. I also smoke a lot of both weed and cigarettes.

I’m looking for something long term and i’m sooo tired of the games and being ghosted. If you’re interested and serious please feel free to message me:)

35M here looking for F. Figured I’d throw this out there and see if anyone else is in the mood for some good company and conversations.

Not looking to make big plans, just want to get out, sit across from someone interesting, have a drink or grab some food, and actually talk.

I’m pretty easygoing and always up for a good conversation.

Let's talk about our day, what’s been keeping you busy lately, what you’re excited about, what’s driving you slightly crazy… I’m genuinely interested. I’ll probably have a few stories and things to vent about myself too.

Don't want to make it into awkward interview style questions and no pressure to make it into something it isn’t. Just meeting up in IRL and seeing if the conversation flows...

UPDATE: We have filled the spot but feel free to DM me anyways for future events if you're interested 😊

Had a last minute drop-out, looking for another woman to join to even out the numbers! Preferably between the ages of 22-26.

You do not need to know how to play boardgames to enjoy this event! The vibes are very casual and friendly, this is not a romantic event. All of the games we play are party-esque games where the main focus is conversation and banter.

There will be 10 of us this time (hopefully). And the age range of the men are 22-33. The other women are 23-30.

Shoot me a DM or leave a comment if you're available Tuesday 😊

I (37F) am beginning to dabble in energy work and have been exploring my connection to pagan old world gods the last five years or so. I also enjoy doing tarot and crystal readings. I have mostly dated non spiritual people previously but after experiencing a big shift after a reiki session recently, I thought I'd see if anyone local was in that scene and interested in discussing.

Single, 33F. Looking to meet men in the hopes of finding someone intelligent, grounded, honest and fun - for life. Dating apps aren’t optimal and i like to live outside my phone. Any event recos?

I’ve lived here for a few years and I can only point at Crazy Horse and Lone Star on St Laurent for a semi consistent crowd of adults who are in their 30s dancing… but I’m not a huge line dancer lol.

Where are you guys going?

I'll be hosting another singles board game night at Level One! This time around I'll be doing the exact same thing, small-ish group (~8 people) with an even spread of genders because why fix what's not broken?

Leave a comment with your age, gender, and availability like last time. Or feel free to DM me if you'd rather keep that information private. Once again I will be doing my best to vet the people who come.

I'm giving priority to people who haven't come yet. If you went to the first one, feel free to leave a comment about what you enjoyed and if there's anything I can change or do better to make it a more enjoyable experience going forward 😊

Hi all! 30 year old guy wanted to spend my limited free time I have forming new, honest connections. For friendship or more!

Genuinely. I've made some very special, platonic friendships in Ottawa's r4r sub.

Especially if you got a noob-friendly TTRPG group or play Marvel Rivals haha. Or can teach me how to take better selfies!

I'm going to share about me with bullet points in the hope of being as open-book as possible. But the TL;DR is: childfree, woke-ish and quirked-up divorced man is single and has been having fun dating new folks.

About Me:

• BI, I've been sexual with both genders but only have experience dating women romantically. Open to both! I behave like I'm closeted despite being "out" so men and NBs might need to be patient with me.

• ENM/Poly curious. I'm not looking for multiple partners exactly, but I think I'd fit in best as someone's "secondary" or non-nesting partner. I only have evenings and nights free so I'd feel selfish being someone's one and only.

• 99 percent divorced. Ended things well over a year ago, and paperwork has been pending for some time. I have more details to share on this privately, you're welcome to ask!

• Childfree by choice (vasectomy’d up). Having a traditional family is not a part of my future goals.

• Definitely on the Aro/Ace spectrum in some way. Happy to chat about that in DMs if curious.

• I'm not a high-earner. HS diploma max education. I do okay, have a car, treat my pets well, Costco membership, but cost of living gobbles my budget (went from 3 roommates to 2 for cleanliness and mental health reasons) so my expendable income basically limits me to 1 "eating out" date biweekly.

• Activity (bowling or escape room), Dinner, (I know some wicked spots), picnic at the park, or Movie dates!

• I grew up rural, so I got some of that in me, but I'm not big on mudding (too expensive) or hunting (I dont really enjoy firearms or hurting animals if I can help it).

• Homebody, usually gaming & watching Hasanabi streams or TV Shows. Reconnecting with reading sci-fi novels and drawing.

• Gentle, polite, noncompetitive, love pets. I have cats and reptiles.

• Acts of service = my love language. Let me help you with yard work!

• Handyman and creative. I'll help build a bookshelf or design a poster for your bake sale! Ask about my Pokemon fan art? Sometimes play music. Often listen to music. Love live concerts, big or small.

• Leftie politics, empathy first. Cannot be close with someone not on the same page as 1312, a Free Palestine, Homeless and addicts are human beings, etc. I don't handle "friendly debates" about people having a right to exist, or excersizing bodily autonomy well.

• Rarely drink, no drugs, quit smoking 4 years ago. Talented at pacing myself, happy to DD for the group.

• 420 friendly but physically it doesn’t agree with me so I usually pass unless its a sleepover.

• Currently dieting well, and incorporating more physical activity after an injury. I'll never be skinny, but currently I'm 220lbs and 5'11, which makes for a belly. I wear it well, I swear!

• I wear prescription glasses and custom orthotics. I am missing a front incisor tooth (left) that I broke during an anxiety attack (haven't had once since March).

• Working on being more open & myself. This has historically been a challenge for me, and "coming out of my shell" has been an adventure!

• Passionate about your interests? Yap away! Please. Because I definitely will and want things to be fair.

• I had a rough start to my life, and avoided my feelings about that for a long time. Now I don't, so lately Ive connected with people really well over both that and being a late-bloomer bi person.

If you've read all of that, and I haven't scared you off, please shoot me a DM!

Welp, it's later on a Saturday than I thought I'd be posting but that's what happens when life gets busy.

So here it is, the question of the weekend?

Do you know your love language? What is it?

As a follow up to the music post (which is great btw) I thought I'd post something similar for hobbies. As someone who had been a woman for most of his life who had no interest what soever in any of my hobbies, I know how it feels to not be able to share or do any of them with your partner. It makes you feel kind of alone.

Now that I am alone I find myself diving deeper into all of my hobbies. It would always be great to have someone to share any of them with. I have recently taken up cycling again (still building), I plan to take up astrophotography next year. I am a collector of EDC items, namely flashlights, weird I know, but fun none the less. I am an avid audiophile and have been pretty much my entire life, so music and audio gear is always high up on my list. Yes, I still collect CDs :)

Drop a post with your favourite hobbies, maybe you will get lucky enough to meet someone who shares similar if not the same interests.

Hello,

32M here looking for F. I'd like to find a life partner if that's still a thing, ideally start a family some day. I am a veterinary technician, so I'm comfortable with cats and dogs (though I am allergic to cats). Interested in having reptiles at some point in the future. I don't drink, though I don't mind if you do. No smoking or drugs for me. I paint miniatures, read, and enjoy card and board games. I have a university degree in science, and I'm ok with you going nerdy on me if you want.

I'm like to know you over several dates, maybe starting with a coffee shop or game night at the loft/level one.

Thanks for giving me some of your time,

Someone still looking for something special

Its Friday! Finally!

I dont really have any thought provoking question today.

So, let's ask a silly one.

What is the craziest thing (dont detail anything illegal) you did to impress someone?

Did it work?

This is actually the second time this summer I have seen someone at Tunney’s Pasture station during peak times bluntly asking people if they are single and available to date. What really caught my attention was that after getting rejected, they would immediately move on to the next person with seemingly no shame or hesitation. It got me wondering is dating ultimately a numbers game for some people? Is the idea to simply approach as many people as possible already accepting that most will say no and hope that eventually someone says yes?

I can sort of understand the logic behind it. Rejection is inevitable when you put yourself out there and not taking every rejection personally could probably make dating a lot less intimidating. At the same time I wonder whether approaching strangers one after another like that actually creates meaningful connections or whether it risks making people feel like they are just another number in a lineup. For those who have tried a numbers game approach to dating did it actually work for you? Or... do you think quality of connection matters more than the number of people you approach?

The last time I was in the dating scene was back in the mid 2010s. I would often go to the Lookout Bar in ByWard Market during the quieter times usually weekday afternoons. I am not sure if things have changed since then but I remember there being a certain level of mutual respect that seemed to be understood between both people. If you were interested in someone you might offer to buy them a drink and even if there was not a connection, they would often reciprocate the gesture. There was not necessarily any expectation that it had to lead somewhere. Some days there simply was not anyone there who caught your interest or you were not the person someone else was looking for. And that was okay.

Looking back I think I appreciated that there was room for rejection without it having to feel like a failure. You could make an effort, accept the answer, and still have a pleasant interaction with someone. Has this kind of decency disappeared post-COVID?

Whether it be the playlist you put on in the car, your go-to song to sing at karaoke, or what concerts or events you like to attend, having somebody that shares similar music taste can be an important factor in how well you get along in a relationship. So I figured picking the next person you talk to based on a common interest like music would be a fun way to meet people.

Feel free to use this comment section to advertise what kind of music you enjoy listening to! Or just browse to see if anyone shares the same taste in music as you do and say hi 😊

Hope everyone is ok after last night's storm.

Todays question is a bit more challenging.

Do you believe that an inter-faith (or even fait/no faith) relationship can work, or do you think that faith is too hard to separate when dating for keeps?

Don't feel like you have to share your faith, but please do explain why you've sided the way you have.

No preamble, no diatribe. Straight to it today.

What is something that you may have dismissed or overlooked in the past, that you now see as an important piece of the dating puzzle?

I used to dismiss typing skills.

A text entirely in short form? Meh.

Every other word spelled incorrectly? Meh

Grammar? What even is that?

But now? Now when I am communicating with someone... if they cannot piece together a sentence coherently... (especially in this age of spell check on literally every device) it is a major turn off for me.

I've become the old man grumbling at these kids to speak up and speak clearly.

Oh no, I've become my grandfather!