r/OttawaDatingScene

I’m a Chinese woman and I’m still not very familiar with dating culture here. I told a few friends about what happened, and they strongly advised me not to meet him. I’m trying not to overreact, so I’d really like to hear how people here would interpret this situation.

I matched with a guy on Hinge two days ago, and we’ve been chatting for about two days.

Last night, he initially suggested meeting at around 9:30 PM. He said he could pick me up. I told him that was too late for me, so we talked about meeting today instead. We eventually agreed on roughly 5 or 6 PM today, but we never decided on a specific place. He said we could discuss the plan today.

I have a midterm exam next Monday, and I told him that I didn’t want dating to interfere with my study schedule. I initially suggested waiting until after my exam to meet.

During our phone call last night, he kept saying things like, “Don’t you want to meet me?” He also said that if I wanted to see him, he would be willing to drive over and meet me even though it was already around 10 PM.

What I find confusing is that he repeatedly told me that everything was my decision and that he wasn’t putting any pressure on me. I never felt that he explicitly forced me to do anything.

But at the same time, I noticed that my decision kept changing during the conversation because of the things he was saying.

For example, I initially wanted to wait until after my exam. Then I changed it to Sunday. Then we ended up discussing meeting today. Each time, he would say that it was completely up to me, but he would continue talking about how much he wanted to see me and suggesting that we meet sooner.

So I’m having a hard time understanding the dynamic.

On the surface, he is saying, “I respect your decision. You choose.”

But my experience is that I keep changing a decision that I was originally quite firm about after talking to him. That makes me wonder whether I’m simply experiencing normal enthusiasm from someone who wants to meet me, or whether there is something uncomfortable about the way he is influencing the decision while still saying that he is not putting pressure on me.

There is another thing that makes me uncomfortable.

We still haven’t agreed on a specific place to meet today. He keeps saying that he can pick me up. He also said that after he picks me up, whether we go to his place to watch hockey would be completely up to me.

I told him something like, “Have you considered that even if I really like you after meeting you, I still might not want to go to your place?”

He said he understood. He also said that even if I didn’t like him after meeting, he could still drive me home.

What makes me uncomfortable is that this would be our first time meeting in person, but there still isn’t a clear public meeting location. Instead, the plan seems to be that he picks me up, and then I decide whether I want to go to his place.

So I’m wondering:

Is this normal dating behavior in Ottawa/Canada, and am I reading too much into it?

Would other people see this as normal enthusiasm from someone who really wants to meet, or would you also find the combination of “it’s completely your choice” + repeatedly encouraging me to change my decision uncomfortable?

I’d especially appreciate perspectives from people familiar with the local dating culture. I’m not necessarily looking for people to tell me whether he is a “good” or “bad” person. I’m mainly trying to understand whether this interaction would make other people uncomfortable too, and whether I should still meet him today.

Something that nails the feeling of heart ache and longing, when you are chasing someone and they know about it well but are holding back. Odd one but let's see what comes up.. 🙂

Yes, I guess I’m still a bit of a romantic 😄 (Hi, Ottawa).

The Reddit community has surprised me in the last year, so here’s my pitch out into the universe. I’m hoping this reaches someone around my age (ideally 38-44ish) who is also looking for the right person to share his life with and build something long-term.

A little about me: kind, easy going, curious, and a bit mischievous. Quick to smile, and I tend to notice the little things that make a day special... I will literally stop and smell the roses if they are on my way haha.

I’ve been lucky to build a full life here in Ottawa: solid job, great family, good friends. I just haven’t really invested much time into dating. I’m hoping to change that.

What I’m looking for: Someone who is kind and affectionate, with a life and interests of his own, who can make me laugh and isn’t afraid of a real conversation when it matters. I like people who are genuinely curious about the person they're with - there's something really intimate and sexy about a partner who will take the time to learn you, who wants to make room for a relationship in his life. And if you balance out my slightly introverted nature, even better :)

What does spending time together look like? That depends partially on what you’re into. But here are a few things that speak to me:

• slow mornings sipping coffee or comfortable evenings where we’re watching something together, reading, or just chatting about the day
• maybe I’m teasing you about some hobby you picked up, or you’re watching me try to learn some new salsa moves (one of my interests)
• dinner dates at home or out with friends or family
• weekend escapes somewhere to break up the routine
• heading outdoors into nature to disconnect (I'm always up for some good camping or a cottage getaway)
• going to a music event or some artsy thing just because
• or just a regular workday where we tackle groceries and meal prep, try to survive the week, with each other's company somehow making it all easier.

What about chemistry? Yes, I think attraction and having that spark in a relationship is important. And because you're probably wondering about looks, here's what I'll share: I’m 5’7” with a build that I like to think would have helped my Eastern European ancestors survive harsh winters 😄 Let’s just say if you don’t like soft thighs that overfill your hands, I’m probably not the one for you lol.

I like being capable and feminine at the same time :) In a pinch, I can help you load the winter tires into the car, and be totally comfortable heading upstairs to change into a slinky dress and heels for the evening. If you can rock a suit that matches my vibe, I might just fall in love.

One quick favour: I’m looking for something intentional and long-term, so if you’re only looking for casual connections, we’re probably not the right fit. No hard feelings - just figured it’s better to save us both some time.

Still here? Phew, that was a lot. If you’re still reading this, thank you! I hope some of it spoke to you. Send me a quick DM if it did, say hello and tell me a bit about you and what made you reach out. We can keep this super low-pressure, chat a bit, and see where things go.

I’m not really good at describing myself or putting myself out there but I’ll give this a shot
I think “A” means looking for anyone so if that’s not what that means I’m sorry.

24F, First Nations (but I look Caucasian) and bisexual. Im autistic and have a few other conditions that I’m currently working on getting better from but you’d have to be okay with the process. I also live in Nepean.

I’m looking for genuine connections with people and looking for something a bit more long term if possible. I would prefer someone in my age group (20s).

I’m into fashion, Pokemon, Sonic, and some other nerdy things lol. D&D, hiking, camping, plants, music, board games. My interests span across a bunch of different cliques so I assure you that these aren’t my only interests they’re just some examples of things I like. I’m always looking for a new adventure or new experiences that I haven’t had before. I’m pretty flexible and easygoing about things. I’m always down for an urban adventure or something deep in nature.

I’m an avid listener to music! I love listening to most genres of music so if you’re a music fan please hmu. I’m not too much into knowing what genre is what genre but I’m simply a music enjoyer so don’t expect me to know a lot of trivia about it.

I’m also Christian but I can be a bit more on a progressive side. I’m not really into politics or theology as both are topics I don’t care about too much I simply enjoy connection rather than focusing too much on these things. But I mention it because I know that matters to some and I feel it’s important for people to know about me.

I do not care if you recreationally drink or smoke weed but I personally have to remain strictly sober and I will continue to remain sober.

I know this is a long shot but let’s see who’s out there! If you’re interested then send me a message.

Hi! This post will be all over the place cause I don't know what to write.

I'm going to do my best to describe myself, things I like to do and what I'm looking for. I know everyone has their own routines/issues/things they go through and it's all about finding that special someone who is compatible.

I'm 5'6, slim build, blue eyes, I workout after work about 2 or 3 times a week and try to run on days I wfh. I have 2 cats who are 2 very silly bois, I'm on the verge of becoming a crazy cat man tbh. I have a stable career, my car is paid off, bought a small townhouse last year so I think I'm at a good spot to find someone special. I am in the kanata area as well. I do not drink, so bars and clubs are not my thing. I am 420 friendly but only do it a few times a year, I am okay if you drink or enjoy 420 more often.

I will say I am quite comfortable being by myself and a bit of a homebody but I'd really love to find someone to get out and do some things with more often. Things like going to farmers markets in the summer, going for a swim or hike, going to fall fairs or orchards in the fall. Skiing in the winter as well would be nice, I've never been one to hit the hills alone.

I am a bit of a gamer, not the kind that will ignore all responsibilities to play cod all day but early mornings on the weekends or for a short time after work I like to spend some time gaming.

I love going to the theaters to see movies, this year has been a great year for movies. I'm a fan of most genres but horror movies are really fun and this year has been phenomenal for horror. I will go see any movie though!

I love coffee, I have an automatic espresso machine that makes such a good cup of coffee I absolutely love it. I also would enjoy going to more cafes to try all kinds of coffees.

I am a an introvert and a very calm person. That being said sometimes I'm not a very excitable person but on the brightside I don't get angry or stressed ever really. I would say I tend to be more on the goofy side, joking around about ridiculous situations and what ifs.

I am also an early bird kind of person, I've discovered I get a much better sleep if I'm in bed around 9 and sleeping by 10. I'm usually up pretty early as well but that means I can make you coffee when you wake up.

I'm going to be honest I'm not %100 sure what I want in a person, I don't have a long list of "my person needs to have all these" kind if thing. I'd like to have at least some similar interests, I just want to find that someone I just enjoy being with. The person has to like cats though, that is a must.

With the fall arriving it's going to be the best weather to cuddle and watch movies, or help decorate my place for Halloween, or figure out matching costumes for Halloween. I have full sized chocolate bars to give out.

I do not have any kids but I am open to them.

My DMs are open if anyone thinks they'd be a good fit, I am happy to share pics as well as so let me know if you want to know what I look like. Please be open to sending a pic as well though. Ideally I'd like to meet in person either for a coffee or walk or anything else as well if we seem like a good match. Or put a comment and I can send a message.

I feel like i wrote all this and still didn't do a good job at describing myself, any tips appreciated as well on making a better post.

Dating apps are an absolute dumpster fire, so I figured I'd give this a shot instead. 😂

Hey everyone! I'm a 33-year-old dad from Ottawa, a bit of a nerd, a laid-back guy with a good sense of humour, and someone who's just looking to meet someone genuine.

I love getting outdoors, whether it's exploring somewhere new, enjoying nature, or just getting some fresh air and clearing my head. But I'm equally happy spending a cozy night at home, watching a good movie, gaming, ordering some food, and enjoying each other's company. Honestly, the right person can make even the most ordinary night feel special.

I'm a dad, 420-friendly, hockey fan, and a big fan of good conversation, witty banter, playful teasing, and people who can laugh at themselves. I'm into gaming, movies, and music (a little rock and metal 🤘), and I have a soft spot for terrible dad jokes and making people laugh.

I'm hoping to meet someone who's kind, genuine, affectionate, and doesn't mind a little sarcasm. Someone I can laugh with, flirt with, be comfortable around, and see where things go naturally. I'm open to a real connection without trying to force anything.

If you're someone who enjoys a little adventure but also appreciates staying in, getting comfortable, and forgetting the rest of the world exists for a while, we might get along pretty well. 😊

So, let's see if Reddit can succeed where the dating apps have spectacularly failed. 😂 Feel free to say hi! Tell me a little about yourself, or just hit me with your best terrible joke. I'll try not to judge you too harshly.

Carleton Uni student here, and I’m studying CS and math. If I’m being honest, I’m a bit too work/career oriented to get into a relationship right now. But I’m happy to make some friends! Sadly this is the closest sub I’ve found for that.

That’s about it. I’m 20M, and I’m looking for some chill people to hang out with when I’m not studying or at work.