Going to tell my family how I've really been doing this weekend.
I've been struggling with my mental health for the past few years, but it has been especially bad the past few months. I've been sleeping through the day and living at night a lot of the time, barely eating, only leaving my room when absolutely necessary, and failing my classes. I did start talking to a therapist through my school this quarter, which has been good, but hasn't gotten me to make any actual changes yet.
My parents know that I failed one of my classes last quarter, but other than that, I've been telling them that I'm good and everything is fine. I'm going home this weekend, and my therapist and I agreed that I should talk to my family about what is going on before our next meeting, so I figured this is a good time to do it. We have a good relationship, and they are very supportive, but I've always had a hard time telling them any kind of bad news or admitting my failures. I always just don't say anything or straight up lie. I'm not really sure how to start this kind of conversation, and I'm really scared even just thinking about and I'm not sure if I can do it.
I just feel so pathetic. Everything in my life has been leading me towards success: a loving and supportive family, never really had to worry about money, no childhood trauma, haven't had to work through school because my parents cover rent/tuition/food, that kind of stuff. I really am extremely fortunate to be doing as badly as I am and still have a roof over my head and food in the fridge. But I'm throwing it all away. Wasting every day binge watching youtube or playing video games. Every time I try to improve my life, I make a change for a few days and then fall back to a worse place than I was before. I already had to withdraw from one of my classes, and now I have 2 weeks to do a whole quarter's worth of work for a different class that I failed last quarter by doing the exact same thing and not having enough time to finish.
Dinner: Chicken and Mushroom Risotto. Wasn't sure how it was going to turn out because I couldn't get the exact things the recipe called for, but it ended up being easier to make than I thought and also delicious.