WIBTAH if I don't show up to my best friends birthday, that I planned?
My partner (32, F) and I (31, F) have a friend (28, M). We have been off and on friends for about 4 years. This year, we set up a surprise birthday celebration asked him to be home, let his roommates know and scheduled off the day from work. We created this really awesome scavenger hunt that took him to all his favorite places and little riddles that tied into everything. We both spent close to 8 hours planning, creating riddles, and designing really intricate posters.
Here comes the issue, his bday is tomorrow. We have 3 other friends involved. He texted us tonight letting us know he may not be ready in the am because he's out drinking with one of the girls involved in this plan. And then told us he was spending the night. I will preface by saying that he has caused similar issues in the past.
A couple examples: my roommates were out of town and we asked him to stay because we are two women in a larger home and dont feel comfortable when our roommates are gone. He flaked last minute and got drunk all week with his girlfriend.
Second:
We planned a trip, he cheated on his gf who was also invited so we kicked him off the trip.
Third: my most recent birthday, he changed the plan last minute to attend a work meeting, he ended up coming the second day and was planning to come up early. He didn't come till 4pm because he drank and slept through his alarm.
I am feeling quite upset because this is a pattern and I already have a hard time dealing with change. So, would i be the scallywag for not showing up tomorrow? His other friends will be fine to take over, but at this point im feeling quite disrespected and need a third opinion.