Hello! A while ago I made a post asking if other folx had a similar experience to myself in an effort to find a label that fit it. I came to the conclusion, at that time, that nothing of the sort existed, and while it didn't really bother me, it never truly left my mind. Today it kind of popped to the forefront and I thought, "self? Why not just make your own term? I'm sure someone else would like it and feel affirmed or seen, so there truly can't be any harm in it, right?" So that leads me to to this post! I'm going to define Advaikhora, try to point out what umbrella terms relate to it, relate my personal feelings and experience with it and maybe even add a special second term (Gasp!).

Advaikhora/Advaichora:

Pronunciation: ad-vye-KOR-uh

Etymology:

• Advai-: It is from Sanskrit (advaita - non-duality, non-two) and is used to describe a relational or dependent gender state. I found it from the term "advaigender" but I can't find the origin of that term itself. It may have been a personal label, or maybe a hallucination from an AI somewhere, but it works for this and I'll define it as an umbrella term below.
• -khora / -chora: This one I grabbed from Kenochoric. The linguistic basis is from Classical Greek apparently (khora), and it is a philosophical concept used by Plato. It is an abstract, formless space or receptacle that holds room for other elements.

Definition: A specific gender identity characterized by the feeling of a calm, light, shadowless, and slightly alien inner space or threshold. While it is entirely distinct from the gender(s) it accompanies, it is inherently unstable in isolation and relational. It requires at least one other identity to act as an anchor or a host, and in the case of that host identity disappearing (such as in flux individuals), it either collapses into a feeling of hollowness/dissociation or the individual shifts into an entirely new state.

Related Umbrella Terms:

• Advaigender: An umbrella term describing gender identities or experiences that cannot exist without another identity to anchor to. This would be a subcategory of Multigender. Again, I didn't come up with this, but I also can't tell where it came from, so please if anyone knows tell me so I can give credit.
• Kenochoric: According to the LGBTQ+ wiki, Kenochoric "is an umbrella term that describes identities, mainly gender, that is centered around the idea of kenopsia (a forlorn atmosphere or a place that is usually bustling with individuals, but is now empty and abandoned)." It's distinct from xenogenders and describes all sorts of things, but for the purposes of this experience it's related to unstability, the feeling of obscurity (such as a mist or fog), and liminality.
• Multigender: Since this cannot exist on it's own, it's a multigender.
• Aporagender: It is still a distinct, fully separate gender. It has no grounding in male, female, agender or any midpoint on the binary.

Bonus Term: Liminaura (li-min-AWH-ra) - The solitary version of Advaikhora, untethered to any other identities. It's a portmanteau of "liminal" and "aura" and kind of captures the alien feeling of the identity (plus I like how it sounds). Fun fact, this was what I was originally going to call my personal identity, but I decided to use something a bit more descriptive.

My Experience: I use a lot of poetic or metaphoric language when describing my gender identity and feelings of it I have inside. The way I described this feeling before was "a large empty room without shadows or echos. Restful (like a pause or a breath), neutral, but not empty. Amorphous and can be shaped, but resists being pushed towards the binary concepts. Grounding but in an indistinct way; if it were my only gender I would feel hollow." There's no real societal script for it, which is what lends to it's "alien" feeling to me, and it's almost impossible to express outwardly in a way society would understand. Despite all that, it feels... good. It feels right for me. It's not indecision or a midpoint. It just "is".

I hope you all enjoyed this read. I'm not going to start preaching this everywhere, but maybe someone out there will find this helpful. I know for some, labels don't matter at all, but for others, labels help ground those feelings they have, so for you who found this grounding... You're valid 😄 (and those who don't care, you're valid too)