All I want is someone who will listen to something I say
Stuck at home disabled, starting to really go insane now that I've turned 30. Living with a crazymaker that loves to toy with my emotions long-term for immediate stress relief (as she's told me many times)
After 30 years of her refusing to listen to anything I say, I'm just so tired. Being greyrocked by both of your parents and your sibling is an exhausting upbringing. Anyone else?
Yap yap yap at the scapegoat, but if the scapegoat talks it gets cut off instantly with an ad-hominem attack or a rant about how a child's job is to never speak in "the family" system.
Realised a few months ago that I surrounded myself with friends that do the same. Nobody ever listens to me, It's an "Mhm oh me too ahhhh yeah mhm" when I ask a question, or "Idk whichever one you want stop bothering me." when I have a statement.
I'm going absolutely insane just wanting someone I can talk to, that talks back, that is willing to have a conversation, that doesn't only aim to tease and belittle me. It's lonely as hell.
Since I've been hyperfixating on how I've actively always being greyrocked, my dreams every night are trauma looping so I'm not listened to as I scream for 8 hours in my sleep, and I'm not listened to 16 hours I'm forced to be chained to this walking abuser. I haven't a family member, doctor or friend I can talk to. Going mental.