How to begin to like myself?
I’ve hated myself since I was a little girl and I’m 22 now. It makes every aspect of life so much harder than I would like it to be. I really want to learn how to like myself. I was emotionally neglected during my childhood and I think that’s why I hate myself so much. Knowing this hasn’t helped me overcome it though.
I feel like there’s something so wrong and messed up about me and everyone else can see it but I can’t. Why am I so off putting to people? I try to hard to be warm and welcoming and kind to everyone I meet.
I feel so fundamentally broken and like no one likes me or wants to be around me. I feel like people get annoyed at me just for being in the same place as them.
I know “what you think people think about you is really what you think about yourself,” so I want to learn to feel good about myself. Except I genuinely have no clue what that feels like or how to accomplish it.
What are the physical steps to take to stop hating yourself?
I want to be sure of myself. I want to be confident. It makes me so sad always feeling so bad about myself.
It’s especially bad at work. I work mostly alone so for 8 hours a day I’m by myself just thinking about what a fat ugly loser I am.
I have no friends at work. I try to be polite and smile and ask people how they are when I do get to be around people but it never leads to any sort of friendship or connection. Half the time they don’t smile back at me and just keep walking.
I’m so desperate for relief from feeling like shit all the time that I starve myself and cut myself and abuse substances to feel good but it doesn’t last and guilt comes along with all that.
I know I’m a kind person and my intentions are always good. I have a wonderful husband who tells me how great and kind and selfless I am on a regular basis but even that’s not enough for me. It’s like it goes in one ear and out the other and I feel really guilty about that. Someone telling me I’m wonderful and great isn’t enough for me??? Maybe nothing will ever be enough for me to like myself??? I worry about that a lot. I’m just tired of feeling so worthless all the time but NOTHING helps.
I want to like myself but I feel like such a waste of space and I’m in so much mental pain everyday I’m exhausted and angry. I hate being like this I hate being myself so much. Any advice is appreciated.