We were together for 3 years. Then we broke up and were on and off for another 7 months. She left twice and came back twice. Recently, it happened for the third time. She always switches in a few weeks in behaviour and thoughts. How can this keep happening? Is it finally over for good this time? The first picture is mine chart.
We were together for 3 years. Then we broke up and were on and off for another 7 months. She left twice and came back twice. Recently, it happened for the third time. She always switches in a few weeks in behaviour and thoughts. How can this keep happening? Is it finally over for good this time? The second picture is mine chart.
Me and my ex were together for 3 years and have been broken up for around 6 months now. Our relationship was extremely intense emotionally and sexually, very toxic at times too, but we were deeply attached to each other.
For context, these are our charts:
Mine:
Libra Sun
Scorpio Rising
Pisces Moon
Virgo Venus
Scorpio Mars
Scorpio Pluto
Hers:
Libra Sun
Gemini Rising
Sagittarius Moon
Scorpio Venus
Sagittarius Mars
Sagittarius Pluto
A big reason why our dynamic keeps repeating is because astrologically we trigger both obsession and freedom issues in each other. Her Scorpio Venus gets deeply attached and obsessive, while her Sagittarius/Gemini side constantly wants freedom and escape when things become too intense. My Scorpio energy goes all-in emotionally and sexually, so together it becomes a constant push-pull between deep attachment and wanting to run away from the intensity.
Last Thursday we spent around 11 hours together again for the first time in a while. The chemistry instantly came back. In the car she kissed the back of my head while I massaged her neck and she literally told me she missed that intimacy and our sex life. She also got jealous when other women came up and even said things like:
“I miss the toxic behavior/intensity.”
“Make an argument with me.”
“This is getting dangerous.”
At one point I tried to kiss her and she stopped me saying:
“I can’t, because then we’ll have sex and I need to heal from you.”
That line stuck with me because it felt like she knew all the feelings would come back if we crossed that line again.
After Thursday we had no contact until Tuesday. In the meantime she went out with another guy she has apparently been dating since around March. On Tuesday during a call she admitted she kissed him that Saturday. I asked her if they had sex and she immediately reacted with “why?” before saying no. Then I asked her if she even had feelings for him and she straight up said no.
That’s what confuses me the most. She says she has no feelings for him, but still continues seeing him while simultaneously telling me:
“I can’t let this situation go.”
“Sometimes I miss it.”
“The more I talk to you the more I see the same future again.”
“Something in me says we’ll end up together again.”
She even admitted she told the new guy herself that she still can’t let me go.
Then Tuesday when I stopped replying, she removed her profile picture and deleted messages. Later she admitted she only did that to get my attention because I wasn’t responding. According to a mutual contact, even now on Sunday her profile picture is still gone.
During the call Tuesday I basically gave her a chance to come back and told her I felt like she was choosing a “safe” and more surface-level situation because our relationship was too intense and overwhelming. She didn’t really deny it directly, but once the conversation got too deep she started becoming defensive and blaming me for things from the relationship.
At one point I asked her an important question and she suddenly hung up saying she had to work. I told her to text me later and she responded:
“I don’t want too much app contact.”
After that I waited a day and on Wednesday I sent her a final message ending everything. I basically told her she keeps running from her own feelings, that she wants me but keeps finding reasons not to choose me, and that I was done with the mixed signals while she keeps another guy around that she herself claims she has no feelings for. Then I blocked her everywhere.
The new guy’s chart is basically the opposite of mine too:
Aquarius Sun
Gemini Rising
Sagittarius Moon
Cancer Venus
Whats gonna happen? Tbh this was draining and im really done
Me and my ex were together for 3 years and have been broken up for around 6 months now. Our relationship was extremely intense emotionally and sexually, very toxic at times too, but we were deeply attached to each other.
For context, these are our charts:
Mine:
Libra Sun
Scorpio Rising
Pisces Moon
Virgo Venus
Scorpio Mars
Scorpio Pluto
Hers:
Libra Sun
Gemini Rising
Sagittarius Moon
Scorpio Venus
Sagittarius Mars
Sagittarius Pluto
A big reason why our dynamic keeps repeating is because astrologically we trigger both obsession and freedom issues in each other. Her Scorpio Venus gets deeply attached and obsessive, while her Sagittarius/Gemini side constantly wants freedom and escape when things become too intense. My Scorpio energy goes all-in emotionally and sexually, so together it becomes a constant push-pull between deep attachment and wanting to run away from the intensity.
Last Thursday we spent around 11 hours together again for the first time in a while. The chemistry instantly came back. In the car she kissed the back of my head while I massaged her neck and she literally told me she missed that intimacy and our sex life. She also got jealous when other women came up and even said things like:
“I miss the toxic behavior/intensity.”
“Make an argument with me.”
“This is getting dangerous.”
At one point I tried to kiss her and she stopped me saying:
“I can’t, because then we’ll have sex and I need to heal from you.”
That line stuck with me because it felt like she knew all the feelings would come back if we crossed that line again.
After Thursday we had no contact until Tuesday. In the meantime she went out with another guy she has apparently been dating since around March. On Tuesday during a call she admitted she kissed him that Saturday. I asked her if they had sex and she immediately reacted with “why?” before saying no. Then I asked her if she even had feelings for him and she straight up said no.
That’s what confuses me the most. She says she has no feelings for him, but still continues seeing him while simultaneously telling me:
“I can’t let this situation go.”
“Sometimes I miss it.”
“The more I talk to you the more I see the same future again.”
“Something in me says we’ll end up together again.”
She even admitted she told the new guy herself that she still can’t let me go.
Then Tuesday when I stopped replying, she removed her profile picture and deleted messages. Later she admitted she only did that to get my attention because I wasn’t responding. According to a mutual contact, even now on Sunday her profile picture is still gone.
During the call Tuesday I basically gave her a chance to come back and told her I felt like she was choosing a “safe” and more surface-level situation because our relationship was too intense and overwhelming. She didn’t really deny it directly, but once the conversation got too deep she started becoming defensive and blaming me for things from the relationship.
At one point I asked her an important question and she suddenly hung up saying she had to work. I told her to text me later and she responded:
“I don’t want too much app contact.”
After that I waited a day and on Wednesday I sent her a final message ending everything. I basically told her she keeps running from her own feelings, that she wants me but keeps finding reasons not to choose me, and that I was done with the mixed signals while she keeps another guy around that she herself claims she has no feelings for. Then I blocked her everywhere.
The new guy’s chart is basically the opposite of mine too:
Aquarius Sun
Gemini Rising
Sagittarius Moon
Cancer Venus
Whats gonna happen? Tbh this was draining and im really done
Me and my ex were together for 3 years and have been broken up for around 6 months now. Our relationship was extremely intense emotionally and sexually, very toxic at times too, but we were deeply attached to each other.
For context, these are our charts:
Mine:
Libra Sun
Scorpio Rising
Pisces Moon
Virgo Venus
Scorpio Mars
Scorpio Pluto
Hers:
Libra Sun
Gemini Rising
Sagittarius Moon
Scorpio Venus
Sagittarius Mars
Sagittarius Pluto
A big reason why our dynamic keeps repeating is because astrologically we trigger both obsession and freedom issues in each other. Her Scorpio Venus gets deeply attached and obsessive, while her Sagittarius/Gemini side constantly wants freedom and escape when things become too intense. My Scorpio energy goes all-in emotionally and sexually, so together it becomes a constant push-pull between deep attachment and wanting to run away from the intensity.
Last Thursday we spent around 11 hours together again for the first time in a while. The chemistry instantly came back. In the car she kissed the back of my head while I massaged her neck and she literally told me she missed that intimacy and our sex life. She also got jealous when other women came up and even said things like:
“I miss the toxic behavior/intensity.”
“Make an argument with me.”
“This is getting dangerous.”
At one point I tried to kiss her and she stopped me saying:
“I can’t, because then we’ll have sex and I need to heal from you.”
That line stuck with me because it felt like she knew all the feelings would come back if we crossed that line again.
After Thursday we had no contact until Tuesday. In the meantime she went out with another guy she has apparently been dating since around March. On Tuesday during a call she admitted she kissed him that Saturday. I asked her if they had sex and she immediately reacted with “why?” before saying no. Then I asked her if she even had feelings for him and she straight up said no.
That’s what confuses me the most. She says she has no feelings for him, but still continues seeing him while simultaneously telling me:
“I can’t let this situation go.”
“Sometimes I miss it.”
“The more I talk to you the more I see the same future again.”
“Something in me says we’ll end up together again.”
She even admitted she told the new guy herself that she still can’t let me go.
Then Tuesday when I stopped replying, she removed her profile picture and deleted messages. Later she admitted she only did that to get my attention because I wasn’t responding. According to a mutual contact, even now on Sunday her profile picture is still gone.
During the call Tuesday I basically gave her a chance to come back and told her I felt like she was choosing a “safe” and more surface-level situation because our relationship was too intense and overwhelming. She didn’t really deny it directly, but once the conversation got too deep she started becoming defensive and blaming me for things from the relationship.
At one point I asked her an important question and she suddenly hung up saying she had to work. I told her to text me later and she responded:
“I don’t want too much app contact.”
After that I waited a day and on Wednesday I sent her a final message ending everything. I basically told her she keeps running from her own feelings, that she wants me but keeps finding reasons not to choose me, and that I was done with the mixed signals while she keeps another guy around that she herself claims she has no feelings for. Then I blocked her everywhere.
The new guy’s chart is basically the opposite of mine too:
Aquarius Sun
Gemini Rising
Sagittarius Moon
Cancer Venus
Whats gonna happen? Tbh this was draining and im really done
I (32M) had a 3-year intense relationship with my ex (28F). We broke up because of different future plans (kids vs no kids) and trust issues.
---
## Important context:
- I told her clearly to stop contacting me (no texting, no calling) and stay away
- We still go to the same gym, so we can’t fully avoid each other
- She is ALWAYS the one who reaches out first, often randomly out of nowhere
---
## Timeline (important)
### March:
- Beginning of March: we were still seeing each other and hooked up
- After that, we ended things more definitively
- About 2 days after a full weekend together, another guy asked for her number
- She told him:
> “I was with my ex this weekend”
- He accepted it
- About 3 weeks later, they met up multiple times and kissed
---
### Current situation with that guy:
- He is currently on vacation for about 2 weeks
- After he left, I randomly ran into her at the gym
---
### Mid-April (gym moment):
We saw each other at the gym:
- just said hi
- had a normal conversation
After that:
👉 she suddenly started texting and calling me again all week
I eventually cut it off again and told her not to contact me
---
### April 26 (TikTok moment out of nowhere):
She sent me a TikTok that said:
> “sometimes all you need is one person on your side”
And wrote:
> “idk moest aan jou denken” (idk I thought of you)
---
### My reaction:
- I saw it but didn’t respond immediately
- When I did respond, I was short/distant
She then:
👉 deleted the message
---
### After that:
I asked:
> “Why did you delete it?”
She said:
- she got irritated
- it reminded her of a girl she was insecure about during our relationship (someone I had sex with)
- she saw a lookalike → got triggered
Then:
- she started typing…
- stopped…
- sent nothing
---
### 2 days later:
I said:
> “If you want to say something, just say it. Otherwise what’s the point?”
She replied:
> “yeah I thought nvm leave it”
> “idk what I had to say”
---
### After that → calls:
That same period:
👉 she started calling me again
In ONE day:
- 2 hour call
- 1 hour+ call
- another 2 hour call
- 54 min call
So easily 4–5+ hours total
---
### After the last conversation:
After all of that, she said:
> “I will never text or call you again”
Even though:
- she’s the one who kept reaching out
- and I had already told her not to contact me
---
## What she says:
- “I don’t want you”
- “I don’t need you”
- “my body blocks you”
- “it’s better like this”
- “you want me”
- “it doesn’t do anything to me what you do with other women”
She also says:
- I’m like drugs to her
- she’s addicted to our dynamic
- I always trigger her
And:
- If I’m short →
> “you never used to respond like that”
- If I say something real → she gets triggered
She also told me:
- she was never jealous with exes,
- but with me it was extreme jealousy
---
## What I said back:
When she said:
> “you want me”
I told her:
> “If I wanted you, I would be messaging you and putting in effort”
---
## What she does:
- Keeps texting me first
- Keeps calling me even after I said not to
- Often reaches out randomly
- Sends emotional messages
- Deletes messages after sending
- Gets triggered by other women
- Calls me for HOURS
---
## Dynamic:
Our whole relationship has always been:
argue → make up → argue → make up → laugh → repeat
She literally calls it:
👉 something she’s addicted to
---
## My confusion:
How can someone:
- say they don’t want you
- say they don’t care what you do
- say their body “blocks” you
- say they’ll never contact you again
BUT:
- keep reaching out
- keep calling
- spend hours talking
- get emotionally triggered
- admit you feel like “drugs” to them
---
## My questions:
- Does she still have feelings but is suppressing them?
- Is this emotional addiction / trauma bond?
- Am I just emotional comfort while she’s with someone else?
- Why say “I don’t care” but clearly react?
- Why say she’ll never contact me again, but keeps doing it?
- Is this just push-pull behavior?
- Is it a red flag she keeps this going while seeing another guy?
Because right now:
👉 her words and actions completely contradict each other
I genuinely don’t understand what this is.