my husband (29m) is cheap and I feel like I've lost autonomy and I resent him
TLDR - Husband and i have a values mismatch on money. He has a scarcity mindset that hasn't caught up to your actual financial reality, and I feel controlled
My husband (29M) is overall a very good man. He takes care of me (29F) in many ways which I want to start off with. One of the main issues that I did realise prior to getting married is that he is very frugal, but typically more for himself - e.g. he will never want to buy himself new clothes but he will like to spend on an experience.
That said, there have been a fair few instances where he gets extremely agitated over what I feel are objectively small purchase decisions and makes me feel incredibly anxious or bad. For example, I honestly hate cleaning bathrooms and booked a cleaner for $100 to clean our house and he basically lost it. Other examples include, I had to get keys cut, and I didn't go to the place he said, and so instead of $15, it probably cost $40 - which I totally get I lost money for no reason, but I didn't feel it warranted being scolded or being told off. We are financially well-off, we are able to afford these things, and I am at a stage in my life where I do not want to just go for the cheapest item.
Recently, we moved houses and have needed to purchase furniture. He unfortunately was away because a family member passed, so I managed these purchases, I sent him a google sheet with a breakdown and he was OK with it. He realised later than I bought two chairs for 180 pounds and was extremely annoyed that I was irreesponsible with our money, stating I could have gotten 4 or not chosen such expensive chairs. He then apologised and says it is his fault he didn't pay attention, which honestly just feels like a dig and that I need supervision or oversight. I do not think he realises that it feels very controlling to be scrutinising purchases that in my opinion, are not worth even a discussion. I definitely have a different viewpoint on budgeting and money, and try to include him in conversations but I feel very controlled because I've always watched my parents let each other purchase whatever they liked and to me that is a healthy relationship. Please note, I do not mean go off and purchae a luxury handbag, but I think buying chairs that gives someone joy for under 200 bucks is OK when you are both earning six figures. Typically anything over $300 I do check in but TBH even this annoys me but I do it because I know it is needed
Anyway, I just wanted to ask for advice on a recurring problem.