Being judged for choosing to leave after wife's affair
Throwaway account for privacy
Past few weeks have been brutal....I discovered my wife of 10 years was having an affair with her supervisor around the beginning of March. We have a 3.5 year old daughter together. I was initially very enraged, but calmed myself and collected some evidence to make sure. She had gotten very cagey with her phone lately, but I realised this only in hindsight when I connected the dots.
I have always trusted her completely,so much so that I don't think I had ever questioned her whereabouts or who she was talking to. Never ever checked her phone in 10 years. The only reason I got suspicious is that I spotted a photo in our shared Google Photos folder (we maintain this so both of us can see pictures of our daughter that were taken by the other person). It was a screenshot of a chat from the AP...She had asked him whether he had deleted the previous messages and he must have taken a screenshot to show her that he indeed had. When I realised, my world crashed. I got a VAR and car tracker and during the next 2 weeks I saw 8 instances of them sneaking off after work while she would message me that she would be late.
D-day was about 6 weeks ago, right around my 35th Birthday. I told her to move out and she's moved back in with her parents (they live very close by). We have been splitting custody of our daughter. Even after that she has been trickle truthing me...She says that the affair lasted only 2 months when I know for a fact that it has lasted at least 6 months. She introduced that asshole AP as a colleague and he was even in our house around Christmas when we had her office friends over for dinner.
I had decided on the very day when I was sure of the affair that I will definitely divorce her, because infidelity is a red line in my book. But she is unable to accept my decision and every time I bring up that its not going to work out she still begs me to try. Over and above, her mom is now getting suicidal because of all this...At this point I don't know what to do. Am I wrong to want to leave? Even my parents are asking me to reconsider, but nobody sees how unhappy that would make me... WHy am I being treated like a criminal when I have not done anything wrong?