The best TTI dream I ever had and the first that was not a nightmare!!!
I just had an amazing dream! It is the only TTI dream that I have ever had where I wish my alarm clock hadn’t gone off before the end. I didn’t want to wake up. I was back at Three Springs Paint Rock Valley, but instead of being a wilderness program, we were indoors in a place that I didn’t recognize. I saw some of the worst Paint Rock staff who abused me as a teen, and I was confronting them. I was sabotaging their supplies, throwing it everywhere, and I was yelling loudly at the staff that what they were doing was abuse! I told those horrible staff, including Ms Leach and Ms Tiz, that what they were doing was physical abuse, emotional abuse, forced physical labor, neglect, brainwashing me into believing that I was a bad person and that abuse that happened to me at home before Paint Rock was my fault and that naming that abuse that happened at home was taking a “victim stance”, brainwashing all of us into believing that the abuse that they did to us in that program was “treatment” and that we needed it and deserved it, forcing girls to bully and backstab each other to gain levels and graduate, etc… I was naming all of the types of abuse, and I was saying it loud enough for everyone to hear because I was trying to break the staff’s hold over the other people in the program and the family members at the parent support weekend that I saw right before my alarm woke me up, and my words were actually breaking the staff’s hold on people one by one.
Unlike all the past horrible nightmares that I have had about Three Springs Paint Rock Valley and what they did to us, for the first time ever, in this dream, I felt like those horrible abusive staff had no power over me, and it felt amazing to confront them, name the abuse that they did to us, and help other people by sabotaging their supplies and stopping the abusive staff from hurting other people. It was an amazing feeling to be helping other people wake up from the brainwashing that happened in that program and shutting down the abuse! I wish there was a way in real life to write letters to the staff who were the worst abusers, name the abuse that they did, and name the negative impact that the abuse had on me and on my peers.
I think it’s really cool that I had this dream on the one year anniversary of when I went back to the closed campus of Three Springs Paint Rock Valley as an adult to try to get closure and heal. My first visit as an adult on this day one year ago turned out to be a few hours before the tornado hit and I’m pretty sure I got the last photos and videos of the buildings on the girls side intact before the tornado damaged a lot of stuff.