u/Environmental-Bowl26

i’ve been struggling with depression for a little over 4 years now. it started when i found out my dad i never got to meet had passed away from throat cancer. i realized i was never going to receive the guidance and support many people receive from their parents. but i was able to persevere and push on because i knew i could make something for myself.

my brother helped me get a job at dominos pizza as a shift lead. i worked there for over a year but eventually the stress and depression got to me from dealing with customers and always being on edge. at that time, i had recently got in touch with my dads side of the family and his sister proposed that i come stay with her for a while until i can get things sorted out, so i did. i figured this would be the support and guidance i needed, however that was not the case. i arrived there only to be treated like shit and used as a punching bag for verbal and psychological abuse. but i stuck through it in hopes that things would change. i got a decent job delivering packages for amazon and was getting everything in order until one day my 30 year old drug head cousin that still lives with mom decides he wants to kill me. he started making all kinds of threats and coming at me wrong when i literally didn’t do anything. he claimed i was just mooching off his mom. i didn’t feel safe there especially with his mom just enabling his behavior, so i left. i went to my grandparents property where i now live in a dilapidated camper. that’s when my depression really hit. i don’t even remember living for those first couple of years after finally getting the confirmation that i’ll never find what i was looking for. i appreciate everyone that’s has tried to help or show compassion.

i don’t even know why i’m typing this out or if i’ll ever post it anywhere. i recently got presented a job opportunity and i took it and i thought everything was going good until i didn’t get a call back to work after christmas. the cycle repeats. i’m tired of this…