u/EnvironmentalPea2571

My Fiance and I have been together for five years, we’ve been planning our wedding for around seven months and plan to have the wedding in July. I’ve been really stressed planning things on my end, our venue flooded back in february causing delays and i’ve just been trying to make everything perfect.

During this process he’s really been there for me and vice versa, anytime we need to vent our frustrations or cry or whatever he’s always there. For some context this hasn’t always been the case. When we first got together he was pretty closed off emotionally, while he’s very logic driven Type A person I’m a sensitive “feel my emotions” type of person. We had a lot of things in common when it came to our interests and mutual friends but it was just bridgeing that gap emotionally that was difficult. There were some arguments, nothing to break us up of course but enough to need space away from eachother. Over time though we figured out eachothers emotional needs. He promised to be more open with his feelings, to try and tell me when things are wrong instead of going shutting down and I promised to not be too overwhelming emotionally. Since this trial in our relationship things have been really smooth and definitely felt like we bridged that gap.

So now to the actual issue, one afternoon while my Fiance was at work I was handling some invoices for different vendors etc, and there was some info I needed that was on his laptop. (we freely use eachothers phone/ipads so a non issue) I was sifting through the tabs until I saw Chatgbt on his laptop, big eye roll from me I’m not a fan of the whole AI boom. \*Side tangent, I work in publishing, and last year I lost my Job because our company wanted to implement a new AI software that basically scans what people are into reading and tells us what we should publish or not. My fiancé was there when my job got dissolved and knows how much of a wreck I was, I was very bitter and basically swore off using AI as much as possible.\*\* So when I saw Chatgpt on his computer I kinda felt like snooping and little, I know he mainly used it for emails and lists and things but for some reason I thought to look through. That’s when I saw the prompt

“Can you write vows that show how deeply I love and care about my soon to be wife,” and proceeds to feed it information on how we met, our personal lives, struggles, my name and what I look like.

I actually couldn’t believe what I was seeing, I just sat there frozen like this has to be a joke? Your Vows? Your vows to me who your supposed to be marrying in a couple months? We’ve been together for five years and you can’t string together a paragraph about how much you love me?

As soon as he got home I showed him the laptop and said wtf is this? He looked at me like he was confused and I asked “Why are u asking a fucking robot to write your wedding vows”

He immediately downplayed it and said “Are you serious I was just drafting it?” and then I was like You were drafting it but gave all of our personal information, my name, how we met and all of this shit to generate the vows? Why couldn’t you do this yourself? He said “I needed ideas” and I was like “After five years you needed ideas what the fuck are you talking about?” That’s when the argument became a full yelling type of thing.

He said how I knew he struggled with showing emotion and how it was a big deal for him and needed to figure out what he wanted to say. I told him that’s what brainstorming is that’s what a rough draft is! and then I said, “I’m not marrying a robot, what’s the point in getting married if you can’t pull that out of you”

That’s when I could tell he shut down. He went silent wouldn’t look at me and started packing a bag and the only thing he said was “I need some space”

Since that night we haven’t spoken in 2 days. Completely cut off, I want to reach out but don’t want to make him angrier, on my end I’m still angry that this was even an argument. I know it’s a small issue but it’s the principle of writing your vows to your partner something deeply personal to you. I think it’s really cheap to just ask an AI to do it.

So let me know if I’m the asshole or what. I don’t actually plan of canceling the wedding, but I just don’t wanna be completely brushed off about this, Like I at least want my pov to be understood.

TL;DR I found out that my fiancé wrote his vows using ChatGPT and during an argument I blew up and insinuated. He doesn’t have the emotional capacity to get married.