I (26F) feel like my boyfriend (25M) always puts his friends first
Basically, my boyfriend M/25y and I F/26y have been together for 6 years, and we’ve always been in a long-distance relationship, although we spend most weekends together.
The issue is that my birthday is at the beginning of January, which almost always coincides with university exam season. Over all these years, he has only spent my birthday with me once, in 2022. Usually, he spends New Year’s Eve with his friends and then stays to study for exams instead of coming back to be with me for my birthday.
I completely understand the study situation, and I’ve never wanted to stop him from spending time with his friends, but over time I’ve started to feel like events with friends always end up being the priority. New Year’s Eve, birthdays, gatherings, etc. Meanwhile, my birthday ends up feeling overlooked. On top of that, there have already been two occasions where he completely forgot it was my birthday and only texted me later in the evening.
Recently, I went back to my residence and my grandfather had a stroke. I was really shaken by the whole situation. We had planned to spend time together during that period, but he ended up cancelling because he needed to deal with things related to his master’s thesis.
Now, this coming weekend we were also supposed to be together. We were invited to a birthday party, and at first he said he didn’t want to go because he wanted to spend time with me. But now he changed his mind because our whole friend group is going to be there.
Again, I completely understand his side and I don’t think it’s wrong for him to want to spend time with his friends. But at the same time, I feel like whenever it comes to me, there’s always something else that takes priority. And right now, I’ve been feeling really down, unmotivated, and emotionally affected by my grandfather’s situation, so having him by my side supporting me is honestly what I wanted the most, and he knows that.
Are my feelings reasonable given the situation, or am I letting stress affect how I see things?