u/EnvironmentalStudy38

I hate school and I don’t know what to do I am a junior at a private school behind on my research paper and I’m thinking about it and realizing how much school has been detrimental to me as a human being. I am likely 1000s of hours in sleep debt because of school since 6th grade because of the start time and more recently the homework, which I know is horrible for my brain. During the covid pandemic I would log on to online school and literally scroll the whole time other then when the teacher called on me; I still somehow had enough wit to provide an accurate answer almost every time so this never got in the way. The problem is that scrolling TikTok for 6 hours a day is horrible for a developing brain much like everything else I am listing. I vape to cope, it’s one of the 2 things I look forward to when going to school. Recently I have even began jerking off frequently to deal with academic related stress. I smoke weed multiple times a week but my consumption is down significantly from freshman year when I would smoke almost every day as a response; I suspect this is a response to the stress that school causes me. All of these things began because of school but are overall horrible for my life in general, I genuinely think I might be in a better position right now if I had never went to high school. I am ashamed of these things and I have a very caring family that’s been willing to provide support whenever I need. am a very social person with a lot of friends, that being the only redeeming quality. I’m literally crying while writing this because I don’t know what my best path forward is. I want to make a lot of money and be successful I’ve had good grades up to this point and am still doing decent but might be slipping up a little bit (I dont even know) a partial reason for this is because I’ve been hyper focused on vibe coding an app that essentially does school for me, I want to release it and I want it to dismantle the system, it can bypass any ai detection that exists and probably any software that ever exists, it’s not quite finished but close it will already work for 99% of English classes because the teachers don’t actually pay that much attention anyways. I know I am above average intelligence but I am not a genius and have poor executive function; or maybe just not for school. My family wants me to go to college but I don’t know if I can take another 4 years of academics, if I go to college my main goal would be to build a network and make a lot of friends I’m probably going to rush a frat. I honestly feel like I have to go to college to build a network to become successful even if my main goal is not academics. I am thinking about my options right now and feel lost; I could go to public school next year which would mean a much easier workload and academic pressure but am also worried about how that would look on my transcript. I am definitely going to get my high school diploma but looking forward I don’t know what to do. I have decent grades but very poor extracurriculars and don’t know if a would be accepted into a school that’s worth the tuition. In the case that I don’t I will likely go to community college for a year or two to build my resume for one of those institutions. I could also not go to college and try to build a business or self teach. I am a quick learner who can focus when it’s something I deem valuable, there is just no way for my brain to justify the 100s of hours I spend on work that is essentially meaningless to me. I also don’t want to go to college just for AI to make the reason I went valueless anyways. This is the end of my rant and it is really hard to express all of my feelings in words but I think this is the best I can do. Anyways if you read this far I appreciate you for listening to my perspective and would greatly appreciate any advice.