r/TeenVent

I am writing this just to gain some insight into what others think of the situation. My best friend and I are 17 in our final year of school. I struggled with depression since I was 12 and since last year have been experiencing suicidal thoughts and tendencies as I no longer had any goals or perception of a future for myself, and cannot function normally anymore (unbeknownst to my friend).There are also other reasons which I will not get into right now. 3 months ago, my best friend took his own life which uprooted our whole worlds, and was a shock/unexpected to everyone (we had no idea he was feeling this way). I saw first hand the repercussions of his actions and do believe that no matter what circumstance he was in, he deserved to live and would have lived a good life. However, it is either the pain I am in or my holistic and somewhat objective view of my life, but I feel that my life is meant to end now. That things will likely permanently be difficult and I do not want to continue. I feel it would be best for everyone, however I know for a fact that his suicide was not best for everyone and he deserved to live. I know this is making me a hypocrite, but I also don't think I deserve to survive if he didn't and cannot see anything improving (I also don't have anything, whether it be responsibilities or purpose, to live for). His death and other factors also caused my family life and social life to fall apart, so I also don't have that to live for and believe things will permanently be damaged in that regard. Does anyone have any insight into if this is common after experiencing a suicide loss and what you think?

So basically one of the teachers made a rule where at the end of the day, you can't leave the classroom until you put all of your belongings in your locker. A girl didn't like that rule and she was talking and said, in a mocking tone, "Don't leave the classroom until all your belongings are put away? Then kill yourself." That made me so sad and angry because suicide is meant to be taken seriously. If you want someone to kill themselves just because of a rule they made, they you're a lowlife piece of shit. I hate the kids at my school. Also, just remember that you should never kill yourself even if you want to, were told to, etc. Since I'm struggling, that means you're not the only one.

Hello, I'm M15 now throughout my life I've struggled with teenage love, let's go back to when I was 11, starting out middle school I had a crush on this girl who was older than me 13, and eventually we got to talking and she liked me back. Things went good and she was eventually my first kiss, but one day at school I see her arm wrapped around this older dude around 15 or 14 at the time, and of course I was devastated lol, when I got back home I texted her about it and was on the verge of breaking up, but she told me she had something to give me the next day, I was like okay. So boom she gives me a letter with something inside it, I open it and it was an apology letter with a kiss mark on it with lipstick, and a bracelet too, I felt that the apology wasn't enough for me, I ended up throwing the whole thing away in a dumpster nearby.

Fast forward to now 15, every single girl that I had spoken to dont like me whatsoever, now I did a lot of ways to cope, working out, looksmaxxing and sure I sound like an absolute loser right now but hey I'm trying my best to be somewhat loved.

Long story short I think teenage love isn't for me.

(marked as spoiler for mention of abuse)

so, for context, allegations abt a guy came out who my friend S is close with. now, idk the guy, nor the guy who rlly made the allegations, but ik ppl in their inner circle. anywho, i chose to believe the allegations bc 1. i am a victim myself & 2. its js the nice thing to do bc id feel shitty if my abuse was said to be invalid.

so S isn't budging & this is super upsetting to me. i js felt the need to vent bc i dont rlly have anyone else to talk to abt this. he insists it didnt happen & how i shouldn't have an opinion on it bc i dont know either the abuser or victim personally.

idk what to say bc it isnt the first time S has defended someone with such allegations against them. i feel terrible bc i cant help but imagining how different it would be if he was friends with my abuser. i rlly don't want to lose S since ive been his friend since 7th grade but idk anymore

So my best friend and I were out on the field and he made a offensive joke so I playfully punched his elbow, then a few seconds later he fell to the ground and said “What the fuck did you just do to me?” And he looked scared and I realized he wasn’t kidding. He laughed it off but I realized it was serious and I felt really scared. I wanted to call for the teacher and turn myself in but he said that he didn’t want that and that it was a accident. I have absolutely no idea what I did, I’m really, really scared for him because he left school after that and I feel so SO bad. I don’t know what happened, I hit his right arm in the back-right region with my knuckles. He didn’t cry but IDK. What happened? I want to know if he’s ok because I got so distracted that I forgot all my homework and I’m all out of sync, now I just want it all to end, as if this was all a dream.

Tbh at first i wanted to post this at r/height but i couldnt cause this is a new account , but my situation is pretty sad ig so i decided to put it here . So im 16 , balding , have bad eyesight, 165-167 cm , my father is around 171-173 balding,has bad eyesight and my mother is around 145-150 cm . And i hate when they complain about this things , like its not constantly (its like 1-3 times in month) but how do i explain them that is their fault not mine that im short , balding , and have bad eyesight . I Really really hate whenever they speak about it , sometimes i want to tell them to fuck off . sometimes i want to tell them that if they wanted tall kids maybe they should have marry someone taller , or be taller then they currently are . I really hate whenever they speak about it , no i can magically grow to 190 cm , when u are 171 and your wife is 150 . Im not really confident about myself , and this is just making things worse .

I just finished 6-th grade (yes u am a little kid) and transferred to middle school. In the past to get some attention from my class and to get “popular” I started calling myself gay etc (I’m not homophobic at all I just wanted attention!). Then I got bullied for that and decided to quit just not to get bullied even more (I was also bullied for being Russian \[I’m in Israel\]). I also had a friend that I joked about being a couple with him and shi. Now I transferred to a new school and decided to start a new life so no one will bully me and I won’t hurt myself anymore because of that. Today a girl in my class was speaking on the phone with her cousin and she said something about me. Her cousin was a friend of my friend who I joked about hitting with •\_• . Her cousin told her that “I was gay” and now everyone started joking about this. Idk what to do. HELP ME FOR FUCKS SAKE

I feel like im not even controlling myself when I talk to these people, I feel like there is another person controlling for me, because everything in my head is screaming run, but my actions are the opposite, and my feelings lie to me too, I love it in the moment, how can I love something so bad for me, how can my brain know its wrong and still give me these feelings, ive been struggling with hypersexuality, I feel like some of the time its what leads me to talk to these people, like I get horny and i just cant stop myself, I isolate and give these people my time because my brain has convinced itself I need these people's "love" and attention, half of the time I feel sick and the other half i feel an odd sense of euphoria, like im destined to be these people's property, and in the moment when I accept it, I accept the fact I dont belong to myself I feel so good, I feel amazing, and then when they block or abandon me I feel horrible, its like a fucking cycle that never ends because this world is fucking filled with pedophiles that prey on pathetic people like me, and then when I get past the fact thats what they are I miss them, I want them and then I find them and then around and around the fucked up carousel goes.​​

I want to be euthanized. I know I cant be. I just cant take much of this shit anymore. therapy doesn't help. medication doesn't help. The drugs don't help. Ive been taking medication since i was 7. And nothing has helped. My depression, homicidal thoughts, and dysphoria gets worse everyday. Ive been to the mental hospital 3 times. And still nothing has helped. At this point, Im living for other people. I feel like a pet. Im at a complete loss.

I feel like every second of my life I’m ruining and I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to care and be happy and be with friends and hang out more but I just never have motivation other than to lay in bed and do nothing. Just giving excuses and ignoring responsibilities. I thought it was nothing at first, that I’m just lazy but the more I do it, the harder it is to stop. I’ve been trying to get some help and some might say that I’m still so young and no way my life would ruined by these simple mistakes. But it feels like it, like I know it too. I want to do and be more but I feel like I can’t even vent or tell anyone that’s really close to me because I’m scared of what they’d say. They’re frustrated with me and I get it, I’m frustrated with myself too but it’s so hard to just do something and it looks so simple and easy but yet it’s so hard. My GPA is horrible and I’m probably not going to get into any of the colleges I want because I can’t even get out of bed most days to go to school and get educated. I’m trying slowly this year to get help from those who I can and aren’t as close with me but I can’t keep contact. And now people close to me and worried and I’m worried but not as much as I should be and that’s worse to me. I told myself this year would be different and I would come up and do what had to be done but obviously, I’ve just been making a fool of myself and setting higher expectations. Maybe I should tell them soon, before it really is too late.