u/Several_Influence_88

Yeah so basically I've had no close friends for over 3 years now and technically 3 years isn't a lot but when you're a teenager it's a huge part of your life.

Especially that imo teenage years are so "special" in a way even if you have similar experiences in your 20s it's not gonna be the same.

So my problem is I have some extremely lonely moments when I just saw something cool etc and would like to just share with someone. I tried online friendships but it never works out for me.

So whenever I feel like I need that validation the only place I can get it from is online from random online creeps. I play dumb and send them pictures and I've been doing that for way too long and tbh it only leaves me feeling way worse than before. The whole thing just makes me feel disgusting but idk how to stop.

So I'm 17 and I'm fat and ugly like there's no way to say it nicer. I'm heavily depressed and have major anxiety disorder.

My main point today is that I have an online friend and we've been talking for almost a year now. I'm not a huge fan of having online friends because I don't have any irl ones and that makes me very attached to literally anyone that gives me an ounce of attention.

He has seen pictures of me and a few videos but it literally takes me over an hour to take one picture, it's all about the angle, light and make up. I look bareable in those pics but they're not how I look irl. I'm just unable to send him a picture that looks actually like me.

Recently he told me he would ask me out if we were in the same place and that he actually likes me.

That makes me feel like a disgusting pice of shit. Because first of all he doesn't actually know me, we don't talk much and it rarely gets personal, he is really inconsistent in texting which passes me off but I'm too attached to just let him go. And just the fact I made him like some sort of version of me that I think he idealises just makes me feel so bad. As I said I look bareable in those pictures but irl I'm FAR from that so I just feel really bad now and don't know what to do.

I doubt anyone's made it that far but if you did than thank you a lot cause I'm losing my mind and needed to tell someone.

I'm 17, autistic, and I've been homeschooled for a few years because of anxiety, so I don't really have friends anymore. I've been feeling very lonely lately, especially because I've been seeing people my age going on trips together, hanging out, playing board games, etc., and it's making me realize how much I miss having someone close.

I miss my ex best friend a lot. We were best friends for years. I slept over at her house all the time, we spent weekends together, watched shows, played games, talked about our future, and she was basically my safe person.

Our friendship didn't end because we had a huge argument. I started feeling like I was becoming a burden to her because my mental health was getting worse, and I convinced myself she'd be happier without me. Around the time of her birthday, I gave her a present and a letter where I basically said that maybe we should stop being friends. She thanked me for the letter and said it was beautiful. Since then we haven't got any contact.

Recently I've been thinking about reaching out and asking if she'd like to go for a walk sometime. I'm not expecting us to become best friends again. I know we've both changed, and I know she has her own life now, including a boyfriend and lots of close friends. I honestly just miss her as a person and would like to reconnect, even if it only meant occasionally talking or going for a walk once in a while.

The problem is that I keep talking myself out of it. Every little thing becomes "proof" that I shouldn't message her. Like she came back from a girls trip by the seaside today and she was posting ig stories and she looked so happy there. She was laughing with those girls and all. Her boyfriend picked her up and she looks so happy. I always like her ig stories and today I posted one and she didn't like it. And in general I just feel like she has so many friends she wouldn't really like me anymore, especially that she's a really ambitious type of person and I'm currently depressed unable to leave my house most of the time. Rationally I know these things don't necessarily mean that, but emotionally I spiral really fast.

So my question is: If you were in hers position, how would you feel if an old childhood best friend sent you a message asking to go for a walk? Would it come across as weird after three years, or would you appreciate that they reached out? And from my perspective, do you think it's worth trying, or should I leave the past in the past?

I'm 17, autistic, and I've been homeschooled for a few years because of anxiety, so I don't really have friends anymore. I've been feeling very lonely lately, especially because I've been seeing people my age going on trips together, hanging out, playing board games, etc., and it's making me realize how much I miss having someone close.

I miss my ex best friend a lot. We were best friends for years. I slept over at her house all the time, we spent weekends together, watched shows, played games, talked about our future, and she was basically my safe person.

Our friendship didn't end because we had a huge argument. I started feeling like I was becoming a burden to her because my mental health was getting worse, and I convinced myself she'd be happier without me. Around the time of her birthday, I gave her a present and a letter where I basically said that maybe we should stop being friends. She thanked me for the letter and said it was beautiful. Since then we haven't got any contact.

Recently I've been thinking about reaching out and asking if she'd like to go for a walk sometime. I'm not expecting us to become best friends again. I know we've both changed, and I know she has her own life now, including a boyfriend and lots of close friends. I honestly just miss her as a person and would like to reconnect, even if it only meant occasionally talking or going for a walk once in a while.

The problem is that I keep talking myself out of it. Every little thing becomes "proof" that I shouldn't message her. Like she came back from a girls trip by the seaside today and she was posting ig stories and she looked so happy there. She was laughing with those girls and all. Her boyfriend picked her up and she looks so happy. I always like her ig stories and today I posted one and she didn't like it. And in general I just feel like she has so many friends she wouldn't really like me anymore, especially that she's a really ambitious type of person and I'm currently depressed unable to leave my house most of the time. Rationally I know these things don't necessarily mean that, but emotionally I spiral really fast.

So my question is: If you were in hers position, how would you feel if an old childhood best friend sent you a message asking to go for a walk? Would it come across as weird after three years, or would you appreciate that they reached out? And from my perspective, do you think it's worth trying, or should I leave the past in the past?