Midnight
I just wanted to let you know that what you put me through wasn't okay under any stretch of the imagination. It was so wrong for more reasons than just one. The last time we were together, I was literally holding back tears as I admitted I didn't want to lose you. Yet you thought it was okay to ghost me on a whim and vanish from my life forever, knowing very well how my last relationship played out and how much that traumatized me. You even acknowledged that I couldn't fully get over my last relationship because I never received closure. You acknowledged that I was traumatized and healing, but you decided to make it so much worse by putting me through the same pain all over again. Dealing with the aftermath of this has been a living nightmare, to say the least. Being treated like that while having the purest intentions is highly traumatic and horribly horribly painful. It's been months and I've spent the majority of that time in excruciating pain, and unfortunately, that suffering is far from over. If nothing else, I really hope you learn something from this and start thinking a little bit more about how your behavior affects people before acting. It's not fair that I have to carry these scars for the rest of my life, while you've detached from the situation and justify your cruelty by blaming everything on me. I am a good person who makes mistakes but I can learn from my shortcomings and become better. I'm not some terrible toxic individual who is unworthy of basic human decency or closure. I never deserved to be hurt so deeply in this way. I never deserved for you to leave in such a jarring and uncaring way that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
You’re not a bad person either, but what you put me through was undeniably cruel and incredibly hurtful. I genuinely hope you find better coping mechanisms that don't come at the expense of others. I hope you get all the help you need, and that you’re able to build a fulfilling, meaningful life. I really am sorry for the times I misunderstood you and was overly emotional. I know I wasn't perfect (nobody is, if you haven't heard) and I hope my actions haven't caused you any lasting pain or severe trauma, like yours have with me. You can choose to live in delusion and pretend that I'm to blame for everything, but the truth is, nothing I've ever done to you compares to the cruelty you've shown me and the irreparable damage you've caused. I could go on and on, but I'll just stop myself there. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation with someone else, please don’t say "I love you" just seconds before cutting them off without warning. Love involves reliable communication, forgiveness, recognizing the other's value, and believing they are worth the effort. Love cannot be associated with such blatant emotional abuse, severe disrespect, and a total disregard for the other person. If you truly loved me, I don’t understand how you could call me your wife and promise we would be together, only to discard me so coldly once the initial excitement of the relationship faded and I was no longer convenient.