I had been no contact with my mother for over a decade, very low contact with my enabler father. I had stopped by to let them I was visiting their other estranged adult child about 5 months ago. Mostly to test out how I would react. It didnt hurt as much as I had suspected. Instead of being a towering figure of influence, my mother was a sad woman that couldnt accept new concepts. She offered me food, which i used to accept as default. I declined. She made negative comments about my sister's marriage, which irritated me. But it was seeing a sad person, not an enraging one.
This lead me to accepting my father's offer for me to come to their house at a later date to pick up some items I had left behind. Items my mother previousy stated she threw away. I should have realized that she would have been there, even though my father implied he would be alone.
I felt myself falling into old habits... reminding my mother to care for her heath while my father hid in the other room as I took the brunt of her attention. The negative comments about my weight were ... not as effective as they were decades ago. She piled me with 'gifts' in addition to the items from my childhood. Items she openly admitted she was going to give to other people if I declined. Or that she got for free. I cleared up that being a widow didnt make me rich, which seemed to shock her. She thought my deceased spouse had left me a fortune or something? I gave her some advice for a friend that was struggling.
When I sorted through the items she gave me. Most were never mine to begin with. Or were wildly out of style. Their contidion was good, as if they stayed in boxes for years. I donated much of it. The dry goods she gave me? Ramen for the adult child she always called, "you'd be so pretty if you lost weight?" Expired.
I'm not angry. I feel like I should be? I barely feel dissapointed, like for a moment, she showed care. She may have not seen me, but maybe she was trying... I dont know what to feel at all.