u/EpicBaconStrip

I love dogs, I absolutely love them. I've had three beagles in my life, and where the loves of my life (Don't tell my husband) But the last time I've had a puppy, I was 7 years old so I wan't really responsible for anything more than walks and giving love.

The thing is that, as much as I love dogs and I've wanted another dog since my last one died in 2020, there are some boundaries I have related to dogs. While I don't mind them being inodors, I don't want them sleeping in my room, and much less in my bed. I believe my husband and I need our privacy. And also not on furniture.

We adogted a 10 week old puppy last Friday. She's just the cutest girl. She's been sleeping in our room for the moment but my goal is to gradually move her outside. She is extremely smart, and well bShe's sehaved for puppy standards. Almost no biting. No whining. She learned to potty outside on the first day. Right now she's been sleeping in our room, but everytime she want to go jump to our bed we put her on the floor we direct her to her bed. Sometimes it takes up to 10-15 times or more. Yesterday we changed the bed for her crate and I believe it was easier, but I left the door open. I feel bad if I think about close the door, like I'm trapping her because I don't want to deal with her.

The first night I took her outside for potty, but instead went on the white living room carpet. Other than that, she goes potty ouside. She has even waken us up, we take care ouside and does her business. She's so smart and well behaved (for a puppy) that I believe she could be a police dog.

I'm extremely sleep deprived. She's not the problem. Yes, she wants to jump on our bed but when she falls asleep, she is a rock. It's me. Every tiny sound she makes wakes me up. I believe she wants to go potty or will try to jump on the bed. Sometimes I take her outside but does not need to go potty, and she looks at me with the most adorable face, so cute and innocent. Like she does not know what she wants me to do. At night sometimes she brings me her stuffed squirrel like saying "l love you mummy, let me on your bed" and I feel like a monster, like I'm ruining her puppy life and breaking her heart.

I love her to death, but I want to train her to be independent and manage herself to save her the pain of separation anxiety. Tomorrow I'm taking her for assessment to puppy academy. Even though it's expensive, I want her to be well behaved and controled.

My last dog, the one who I loved with my life and was my baby, I had no problem with him following me everywhere. Actually, I loved it. He was my most trusted companion. And that's what I want with this dog. A dog that can be there while I or my husband work from home, cook or watch T.V. But I did not get my last dog as a puppy and he was trained. He could get bored and go someplace else by himself. He did not sleep in my room and had no problem with it. If I had to leave for any reason for 6-7 hours, nothing happened. That's what I want for this puppy, for her to know that she is loved, safe and specially not anxious when alone.

Still, when I work with her in her independence, when I close the door and praise her when she does not whine, when I tell her to go to her own bed, when I take her outside for potty but she does not want it I feel like a terrible owner.

You see, I'm surrounded by people who take their dogs everywhere, or let them sleep with them on their beds, so sometimes I feel like that's how a dog should be treated and if you're not willing, then better not get one.

On the other side, I feel like I'm making a fuss also. This Sunday I have a family reunion for Mother's day and I cannot take her. I was pretty desperate because doggy daycares do not open on Sunday. Some people tell me I'm exagerating. "Just give her a chewing bone and leave her alone for 4 hours". But every article I've read about puppy training say that that's too long for a new puppy and that independence should be gradual.

At the end I found a doggy daycare for this Sunday. Right now I'm torn between comments saying that I'm heartless if she is not 24/7 with me and in my bed and others saying that I'm those ridiculous dog owners that treat them like human children. Just leave her alone, she'll learn to manage herself.

At night, every small sound she makes wake me up. Maybe she wants to go potty. Maybe she'll try to jump again.

I have mental health issues so the sleep deprivation made me snap yesterday. I spent all day crying. Feeling regret and helplessness not only at the dog and myself, but at life. Today I even have emergency consultation with my psychiatrist.

I feel like I will ruin her life and that I'm selfish for wanting her to be independent ASAP but I'm really scared of her developing separation anxiety. I've seen what it does to dogs and owners.

I feel like a monster for wanting her to go to puppy school ASAP. Like I'm saying "You're a bother and I want to change you", but on the other side I've seen that well behaved independent dogs tend to be happier and I want her to be happy, with or without me.

Still, when she looks at me with her cute innocent eyes, I feel like a fraud. I'm even crying as I type this. I feel like I sould not have gotten her if I'm not willing to haver her 24/7 in my life. But I don't want to take her back. I love her, I just feel terrible right now.

Sorry of the incredibly long wall of text. I just needed to vent.

Oh, and her name is Nico Robin by the way.