i (18F) have been wondering for the past 5 or so years if i could be aro/ace. ive never felt “attraction” to anyone ever, or i just dont know how to recognize it. im also autistic so anything relating to romance gets a little foggy for me.
a few months ago i went on my first ever date with a guy i met on a dating app. he was very nice and very kind, but thinking, really THINKING about me in a relationship left me nauseous for weeks. anytime i talked to family/friends about why i could feel like this they tell me it could just be nerves, but i truly feel some sort of barrier involving any romantic interactions.
and i obviously dont want to seem disrespectful to anyone who does identify as aroace, but the idea of never being in a relationship is just as terrifying and gross to me. i feel like i do WANT love i just cant FEEL it. everybody around me has crushes and boyfriends/girlfriends and i feel ashamed about the fact that im seemingly incapable.
there are aroace people who still date and have sex, but i truly dont get how that could work. i also just want to be in love, and feel an emotion so many treasure.
sorry if theres any spelling mistakes, english isnt my first language and also im stupid lol