I (M21) found out my girlfriend (F21) watched and masturbated to MMF double penetration porn.
Yes. It made me insecure. Hi everyone. Me (M21) and my girlfriend (F21) have been together for 3 years. We’ve have a very healthy relationship. We have sex ALL the time. Our family and friends have always been supportive for us. We trust each other a lot, never had cheating issues, and we’re both very close. She never really goes out unless it’s with me.
And yes, again, it made me insecure. I know most of you in this subreddit are already over 30 so I'm just here for some mature advice.
At the start of our relationship, we didn’t really care if the other watched porn occasionally as long as it didn’t affect the relationship or become unhealthy. We thought it was a normal thing to do so at first, so I guess that was the reason why we got ourselves into this situation.
2 weeks ago I was at her house after class, I opened her phone to connect to her hotspot because their wifi was down that time. Twitter was already open as well. She’s always been open with her phone and has told me before I can look through anything. Out of curiosity, I checked her Twitter bookmarks (yes, this is also my mistake for snooping I admit. but this isnt the problem.) and found around 3–4 recently saved videos of MMF double penetration/threesome porn. (I saw other normal porn or hentai videos when i scrolled down, i didn't care, but this category bothered me.)
I know porn is fantasy, but seeing that specific category really messed with my head. It made me feel insecure and wonder if I’m not enough for her or if she secretly wants to try something like that in real life with a 3rd party. Like why would she want something like that? Im just 1 guy and those videos involved 2 guys. I mean like if she did ask me to try with toys that wouldn't be a problem since its just a toy but I don't think I would want to cuz i think its weird. But again, I was scared that I wouldn't know the extent of that fantasy.
I talked to her about it. At first she was embarrassed and defensive, but then she explained that she only watched it because she accidentally found it on an account, it was the first time she saw a video of double penetration and it turned her on and was curious about the sensation. She told me should masturbate to it imagining there are 2 dicks inside her, but she said it wasn’t about the men themselves, she doesn't look at the faces or bodies of the men and that she focuses only on the movement of the penetration (the dicks going inside the vagina and anus) rather than the guys or their bodies. She said sorry for making me feel insecure, also reassured me multiple times that she has no desire to try it in real life, not even with toys, and said if she imagined anything it would basically just be “2 of me.” Without me telling her to do it, she removed all of her porn afterwards and we both agreed to stop watching porn altogether because we’d rather just let out our desires on each other from now on. And she also told me she watched it a long time ago already and doesn't remember when. But it was still in her recent bookmarks.
The thing is, we’re okay now and she’s reassured me a lot, but I still overthink it sometimes no matter how many times she'll reassure me. Part of me understands fantasy doesn’t equal real-life desire, but another part of me keeps getting stuck on the fact that it still involved two men.
Am I overthinking this? Is it really not a big deal? How do I stop attaching deeper meaning to it when everything else in our relationship is genuinely good?