Hello all,
My best friend and I are both in our 20s. We've known each other for years and have gotten through some very tough times together. We practically have no secrets and they're the closest I've ever been with another person. I'll call them Aspen for the sake of this post.
Both Aspen and I have mental illnesses (anxiety and depressive disorders) that we struggle with and are both in therapy for it. However, we will still go to each other for advice or just to vent. Aspen tends to vent to me more than I do with them and can sometimes be combative or aggressive when I'm trying to help. I am admittedly a very sensitive person, so this kind of behavior usually makes me cry. They always apologize afterwards, but nothing really changes and the next time I'm trying to help them, they'll snap at me again and the cycle continues.
It seems like no matter what is happening in life, Aspen will catastrophize everything. For example, if they go to a party and have a great time, but someone stepped on their toe, then suddenly it was the worst thing ever and their life is awful. We went on a trip recently that I paid for entirely (because I make more money than them and I could afford it), and all they could do was complain.
Lately, this attitude has been getting worse. It's gotten to the point that they're complaining about something every single day. I try to be there for them and offer support and encouragement, but it's becoming so emotionally draining that it's affecting my own mental health. It's just becoming too much negativity for me to handle and it's gotten to the point where I don't want to talk to them as often.
They recently sent me a long message complaining about some minor inconvenience and how it's the end of the world. I haven't responded to it and I don't want to. But I do want to find a way to tell them nicely that I need some space from the negativity. I don't want them to feel like they can't confide to me anymore, but I want to establish a boundary, if only temporarily. My own mental health has been on a downward spiral because of things happening in my personal life and I only have enough spoons as they say to handle my own stuff for the time being. How can I gently tell them that I need space from their negativity? I love them dearly and I know this post probably sounds like they're not fun to be around, but Aspen is such a fun person when they're in a good state of mind. I could really use some advice from people who have dealt with similar situations. Thank you.