u/Equal-Butterfly725

I’m a 24 year female and my fiancé is 31, we’ve been together three years. For context me and my mum aren’t the closest due to how she treated me growing up, which was an emotional punching bag for her life choices and failed relationships. She also took my car three years ago when I was between clients in the healthcare field. So I left and years later forgave her due to life being too short to hold the grudge.
She also is very judgmental towards things in my relationship like his age, our family differences, and a lot more things pertaining to his kids from a previous relationship. He’s active in his kids life’s and so am I. Every chance she gets she’s trying to jab at my relationship not being perfect but she’s single after her last relationship failed. She has caused me to have panic attacks in the past years and the only person who got me calm and off the floor was my fiance. He stood by me in my most broken phase, gave me support and loved me through the worst days after leaving her house.I try to not let it bother me but she has the tendency of wanting to control the narrative of every story. She tells my family only my actions and not hers.
To the current situation, my mom has voiced jealousy over how much time I spend with my fiancée, his family, and especially my mil. The conversation ended where I stood my ground and I left it alone but now my mom is playing victim to my family. She made a point to say she’s jealous of the obvious difference between the way time is spent with her and them. I obviously work and try to divide my time but my mom works a completely busy schedule and it’s hard to do things when she sits at home on her days off or I’m having to work when she’s off.
For more background my mom is the only person who down plays any achievements I have. An example of what she does when we spend time is on my birthday last year, she told me and my fiance we don’t need kids because we wouldn’t be good parents and we’re not ready for them. Two years prior I rebuilt my life after leaving her home with only my clothes, a couple hundred dollars, and made something out of it till I rebuilt with the support of my fiancé and his family.
For more background we are both cnas, I work in the home health and she is in the hospital. She’s always putting my job down saying I waste time using my certification in such a low paying job. My fiancé is a caregiver also so we aren’t too well off but together we are comfortable with a little luxury of being able to have nicer things.