My ex’s current girlfriend is stalking me and it may be my fault
Hi everyone! Names are changed for privacy.
My ex boyfriend “Max” (21M) has a current girlfriend (age unknown) who has been stalking my Instagram on and off for months, and I genuinely don’t know how I’m supposed to react to it. I’m 18F and I know I’m young and probably acting impulsively, so I wanted outside opinions.
About 5 months ago, I texted my ex during a really low emotional moment. I basically admitted I was struggling to get over him and, embarrassingly, asked him to tell me he would never love me so I could move on. Yes, I cringe at it too now. I was emotional and not thinking clearly.
About 15 hours later, I got a DM from a burner Instagram account saying something along the lines of:
“Hi, I’m Max’s girlfriend. We saw your message and would appreciate if you didn’t contact him again.”
I liked the message, never replied, and haven’t contacted him since. I also haven’t stalked either of their profiles or tried to involve myself in their relationship because it’s respectful to do so and i’m not that kind of person.
But ever since then, I’ve noticed her burner account watching my Instagram stories on and off for months. Sometimes consistently, sometimes disappearing for a while and coming back again. At first I ignored it, but eventually it started getting under my skin.
I’ll be honest, a part of me enjoys it. I know that sounds bad, but it gives me a weird dopamine rush knowing she’s still checking my page after all this time. I know the mature thing would probably be to block the account and move on, but I haven’t wanted to and probably won’t.
Recently I got fed up and did something admittedly petty. I posted a Close Friends story where she was literally the only person added. The story used the song “I’m Not Pretty” by Megan Moroney, specifically the lyrics:
“Somewhere out there my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend’s scrolling through my Instagram…” etc.
Basically it was my way of silently calling out her stalking behavior without directly messaging her. Childish? Yes, but in the moment it felt satisfying because I’m tired of feeling watched.
I guess my question is: how are you actually supposed to handle this kind of situation? Ignore it? Block her? Was my response completely immature? I feel like being young makes this harder because part of me wants to be mature and another part of me wants to call out behavior that feels weird and obsessive.