Unusual problem I keep having regarding turning down plans
I've had this odd problem where sometimes people think I'm lying when I turn down plans or have to leave a social situation early.
Example- as I was leaving work a coworker asked if I wanted to hang out & I said I was unable to because I had dinner plans, which I'm currently headed to. He laughed, exchanged glances with another coworker, & as I was leaving I overheard them say it sounded like an excuse.
What? If I asked someone to hang out last minute I would EXPECT them to say no. What's so unbelievable about what I said? That I don't have last minute availability to hang out? That I have friends outside of work? That I eat dinner?
I get along with this person & we've hung out a number of times, so I have no clue why he thought I'd lie about not wanting to hang out.
Another example- a friend invited me to a BBQ at his house. When he invited me I let him know that I could come, but I had to leave at 8pm because I had plans with a friend after who's visiting from out of town.
When I arrived I reminded him that I had to leave at 8 as I had plans with a friend after. At 6pm his roommate came home upset that he had lost his phone. He wasn't angry or disruptive, just the normal being upset when losing your phone.
At 7pm I reminded the host that I had to leave in an hour. At 8pm I said goodbye, thanked him for having me, & left.
The next day the host texted me asking why I had left so abruptly. I said "I didn't? I told you several times I had to leave at 8 & I left at 8. I also said goodbye & thanked you for having me." That's not leaving abruptly, that's the complete opposite of leaving abruptly.
I asked him what he was talking about & he said he was concerned that his roommate coming home upset had made me uncomfortable, so I made up an excuse to leave early.
This makes no sense to me. I told him twice, BEFORE the event even started, that I had to leave early due to plans with a friend, so how does one come to the conclusion that something happened during the BBQ that caused me to leave early? I also left the BBQ two hours after his roommate came home. So his theory is that his roommate made me uncomfortable, & I waited 2 hours to leave?
This has happened to me several other times with various friends & coworkers. As far as I'm aware, if you can't hang out or have to leave early, the proper social etiquette is to notify the host/invitee, which is what I do. Yet for some reason I'm not believed?
Am I doing something wrong? Does anyone else have this problem?