Mother’s Day with stepparent
We don’t have a formal custody agreement and do 50/50 with bio mom for my stepdaughter. She’s 12 and I’ve been in her life since she was 4.5. The two households used to get along better but now communication is at a minimum. In years past if Mother’s Day was on our normal weekend we would split it 50/50 regardless if it was our day because I would always tell my husband I thought she should have at least half the day if not more because she’s her mom. For some background, I have always been in a parent role with her since about 6 months after meeting her. I did not necessarily want that at first because I was childless myself back then, but I grew to really enjoy being her stepmom and the bond that we had and still have. She usually calls me by my first name but I have heard her call me mom. Well now things have gotten pretty contentious with her bio mom. Bio mom hates me and stopped trying to hide it. Thankfully all this is kept completely away from my SD. She’s aware we don’t get along but we never say anything negative in front of her EVER about her mom. This year my husband told her bio mom she could get her from us at 6pm today on Mother’s Day. I guess he’s no longer interested in saving her feelings after everything that’s happened. I talked to my SD about it before Mother’s Day and she said she was happy to be here most of the day and that schedule was fine with her for today. I really really dislike her bio mom due to so many things she’s done over the years out of pettiness and insecurity but I still feel bad that she only got her at 6 on Mother’s Day. I know I would feel awful in her shoes. She didn’t even try to argue the pickup time according to my husband. What do other step parents think in this situation? Is it ok because my step daughter was ok with it and her mom didn’t seem to argue it at all? I’m completely overthinking this I think. But I’m a bio mom now to a 5 year old and I would be crushed in her shoes.