i recently said some things to my male best friend who has a girlfriend. we met in our chemistry lab, we became lab partners and immediately hit it off. however, he flirted with me very overtly, and it was very obvious to everyone that there was something going on. i had a little too much to drink and accused him of emotional cheating, i couldn't live with the guilt anymore. we are in the same study group and we have finals coming up. i want to apologize beforehand, as it's all we're going to think about and it will distract us from getting studying done. here's what i'm thinking of saying to him.
i know the last thing you want is to talk to me right now, but i want apologize for the texts, the gossip, everything. they were really fucking selfish and completely uncalled for. you did not deserve that; you have been nothing but kind to me the whole year. i truly can't put into words how lucky, grateful, and privileged i am to experience you as a friend. you are always the the first person to help me whenever i struggled with a homework problem. you make me laugh like nobody else can. you and your friends treat me like family, accepting me with open arms. you treat me with compassion whenever i have meltdowns, something many fail to understand. you stood by me while processing the most unfathomable things no child or adult should ever go through. i am disgusted that i spoke to someone that way who actually cared. you are my lab partner and my best friend all in one. our friendship is so beautiful and i love that we can truly be ourselves. if home is a person, it’s you. i hope that with time, we can rebuild trust and be a part of each other's lives. i am working with therapists and health professionals to ensure this doesn't happen again to you or my loved ones. there is absolutely no excuse to be talking to you like that, none. you are truly one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me, and i can't imagine a life without you in it. i'm so sorry for the emotional damage and hurt i caused you, and i want to make things right. i really do.