Hey all can use prayer thanks
I can't get into my entire history here, but, I have struggled with both God and Satan most of my life. When I was age 4yrs, to age 6yrs I was sexually abused by a church member, a teenager, and this caused Satan to step in like my friend, "battle buddy" and he said he would help me through the abuse. Even though I had cried out to God to help me through my abuse. I didn't understand what was happening.
At age 9 I got abused again by a co worker of my father's who came to live in our house. I cried again to God and also got visited by Satan in dreams.
This went on for years and I did get married at age 19.
I thought I had finally gotten saved and delivered.
Then the marriage ended with sexual sin on his part. (I will skip the details but it was not your typical story)
Both God and Satan have swayed my heart and I know beyond knowing that all I want is to be saved, healed, delivered, and set free. I know it, I can't feel it, and when I try and get it to happen, nothing changes .
(yes I go to church, people pray for me and with me)
I have tried anointing oil, casting out demons and so many other things. I read the Bible all the time.
Do I just keep waiting? It's been 35 years since I was first abused. Thank you.