AIO: am I being gaslit by my fiance & MIL
My fiance (m27) and I (F27) have been together for 3.5 years. We have 2 children together. Prior to us meeting, he dated a girl who had a child (1yr). They were together for about 3 years. Almost a year after me and him got together, his mom called and said she had spoken to the ex and her child and said he(the child) needed a new winter coat. At this point we were pregnant with our first. I told him that it was weird for him to be the one to handle that situation given it’s not his biological child and they’re not together. And also that it was weird that his mom would even call and be the middle man between his ex and him. That made me the bad guy.
Fast forward to Valentine’s Day. He told me he had to stop and pick up some things On the way home from work and he was getting a surprise. Me being nosey I checked the location and he was at a house I had seen him at a few weeks prior. I looked it up and turns out it’s his ex’s grandparents. When I asked about his errands he told me everything except that he stopped there. I asked him and he admitted and said he was picking up tools at a friend’s house in the area (friend actually does live in area) and saw they were outside and stopped. And told me that they usually text him and check up on him every 6months-a year and he does the same and checks on the ex’s kid(now7). I told him I thought it was weird but whatever I really didn’t like the dishonesty and felt disrespected especially given the day.
Now to this week. Our dog passed unexpectedly. He had him before he met his ex. I found out he texted her and told her that he passed away. No problem. He then goes on to tell me that he texts her every 6months to a year or so to check on the child. I of course told asked him why he would need to do that considering he asks her grandparents the same thing about the same time. And didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just ask his mother since she still regularly speaks to them.
I told him I felt disrespected and lied to because him and his mother go behind my back to stay in contact with his ex and her child and his mother has nothing to do with me or our children who live 15 minutes away. It turned into a whole discussion of how I don’t trust him and his exact words to me were “if me and my mother start being honest will that help our relationship and your relationship with my mother”
AIO by feeling crazy, gaslit, and disrespected by him and his mother?
EDIT TO ADD***
He doesn’t directly speak to or see the child anymore. To my knowledge he only texts the mother and asks.