Help
I'm a veteran with diagnosed PTSD. For the last 15+ years I've tried everything the VA has to offer and it works for a few months but I always end up back in the same hole and self medicating. For the past 6-7 years I was an opiate addict which numbed me but as you can guess destroyed the rest of my life. I kicked em cold turkey about 2 months ago and was ok for a month or so and then boom back to the pit. I use weed to help get what little sleep I can and the anxiety attack I wake up with. Having been a pothead since highschool I know that any day now that's not going to work anymore soon. Looking for answers I contacted a brother I served with who was in a bad place until a few years ago. He said he was getting his affairs in order and was days away from eating his pistol when someone told him about DMT. He ended up going on a retreat to South America with a veteran organization. He said that the best way he could explain it is that he remembers everything from being in combat but he doesn't feel it anymore. I want that. I signed up for the retreat but there's hundreds in front of me and could be a couple years before I get the chance to go. So I kept searching and that's how I found this community. I don't exactly know what I'm asking for from y'all and I definitely don't want to cause any trouble for anybody. I just know I have people who want me to live so I'm doing any and everything I can so that I can get to where I want that too. Thank you for your time and for any ideas you may have.