Is borderline really the cause of our mistakes or just a hook we hang our faults on?
NOTE : for people tired from ai content, this one isn't made by AI, or not even helped on it, BUT I wrote it in my notes in my native language so I USED AI TO TRANSLATE, that's why you will find Grammer perfect and some punctuation no one except AI use
A question asked this way traps you into a "yes" or "no." It forces you to decide the answer is either A or B — that it can't be both, and can't be anything else. But this question reaches into the human psyche, something we still don't fully understand. We can't even fully grasp consciousness itself; we can't even say clearly whether an AI is conscious or not.
Human behavior isn't simple, and it isn't easy to understand or trace back to a cause. When you're in a moment and you make a decision in ten seconds — that decision is never the product of those ten seconds. It's the product of a long chain of factors that piled up over the years of your life.
A simple look at one piece of it:
An external event and an internal event feed into → an action. Behind that action, three things loop into each other and shape it: perception ⇄ thought ⇄ feeling. All of that rests on your beliefs. And underneath everything is heredity — you're born carrying genes, some active, some dormant, and a child starts close to a blank page. A dormant gene can switch on because of a situation (hereditary borderline is one example). Your beliefs themselves are built out of past events: blind learning from the sources you trust (family, school, society, religion), watching the society around you, and needs that got answered in some way.
An example — let's call him Bob (singular of boobs).
Take a person like this, in a very simplified world, and watch how he gets from the beginning to the mind he ends up with.
Birth. Bob is born and inherits his genes. The ones that switched on, most importantly: physical weakness, a strategic/calculating streak, and emotional sensitivity. (Among the dormant ones: a gene found in killers, and a gene found in people with a constant sense of being under threat.)
Childhood. He's a creature who needs to feel safe next to his family — but they make him feel that this need is a weakness in him. Their answer is that he's weak and has to "man up." Result: a new belief — hide your real self under a mask.
Bob was also born into a society that ties weakness to women and strength to manhood, where strong men are the ones who earn respect and love. Result: a new belief. His mother and father always told him "be a man," that "this society has no mercy for anyone who goes soft," that you're not allowed to show weakness or to rest — and if you do, you're not a man. Result: a new belief. → So now you can see that threat-sensitivity gene, with these beliefs feeding straight into it.
Adolescence. His teenage years fill up with an inner war — between his real needs and the belief he inherited — and on top of that, the way his brain works has shifted as one of those genes switched on. → In his subconscious, he always feels weak. → Out of that comes a cluster of thoughts and feelings that turn into a craving to dominate everything around him → which turns into action → and he actually feels something that breaks the weakness → a new belief. → He now feels permanently threatened; anyone who treats him with love or kindness, he senses a hidden threat from. → He starts striking at the very people who love him. → Result: people come to hate and avoid him (an external event) → which only deepens his sense of threat.
A breaking event. One day, someone murdered his mother in front of him — someone with power, who is never held accountable. It shatters Bob; he stays in shock for a long time. The crushing weight of it settles into: → "Power is the only basis for survival." → "My weakness is the reason I couldn't protect her, couldn't avenge her, couldn't get her justice." → a severe external threat. → And now the gene tied to killing.
Bob's end. Bob was weak, but his strength was his intelligence. Out of all the disorder inside him, he decides on revenge — by killing the man's family instead of the man himself, so the man feels exactly what he felt. He does it flawlessly, and he gets away with it. But even with no evidence left behind, the man is certain Bob is the one who killed his family. And in the end, despite the lack of proof, Bob confesses — because of a trap: the man provokes him until he breaks down and explodes. In the end, Bob is executed.
While this story is fictional, and so simple that it ignores a lot of other factors, and life is much complex, but let's use it as starting point of thinking
After all of that — can we blame Bob?
If we say "it was in his hands, he chose to kill," that's a shallow answer that shrinks Bob's entire life down to one small piece of it.
What I believe now which is personal opinion: I can't say there is truly free will. Every action leans on a stack of things that came before it, whether you're aware of them or not. When you say "I raised my right hand because I felt like it" — what did your mood base that on? Something before it, again? And go on It's a closed loop.
But… an answer surfaced that became my hope: that this is what awareness is.
Could Bob have done anything different?
If he'd had a single moment of awareness — and asked himself: is this really who I am? Or are these things that were planted in me? If he'd looked back at his past, at his beliefs, at the reasons he feels the way he feels, and just understood himself — he could have taken at least a first step toward his freedom: to make peace with himself and accept himself. (To accept — not the event itself, but the honest acknowledgment of what he is.) That alone could have changed all of it. To accept that he can't get his mother her justice — and to remember there's still a chance. And then to make a decision while being aware of what it's built on. This happens over time, not in a single night.
How shallow we are with each other.
People are too lazy to think. They judge off a single behavior → and decide the person is a monster, or pin certain traits on him, without once asking what might be buried underneath that behavior.
Borderline isn't something you get cured of (yeah medicine exist to help with it but that's not what I mean). It isn't a thing you fight. It's a description of you → the nature of how your brain works → the reasons behind the things you do.
If you fight it, you're fighting yourself, and the wall you put up only makes the loss bigger. Or — you can become aware of it → knowing that in certain moments it pulls on you → then taking a step back → and making the choice consciously. How? It isn't easy. It only comes with time and practice. There's no permanent "fixed"; some of the time you'll still slip — it's a growth that never stops.
So, my love — now you answer:
Is borderline really the cause of our mistakes, or just a hook we hang our faults on?
And the question that keeps pulling at me: is awareness itself determined — or free?