u/Equivalent-Bit-7915

Hi all,

This is my first time writing here, got the news today and feel very bad and sad and it’s hard to keep being optimistic. I am usually a very realistic person, but I am not sure when is the time to just give up. I was very hopeful for this cycle, as it was the first one after suppression. I’ve never seen a positive test, had chemical pregnancy or positive beta numbers, so it’s becoming like an impossible thing to even imagine of happening ever.

I basically just want to share my story, maybe get some feedback, maybe hear about some “positive stories after getting many negatives” (like me) or anything that might help. Or maybe being in this alone, as me and my partner mostly are, I thought it might just help sharing for a change.

First, some background info, I am based in Germany, so pgt-a testing is not an option. I have started with 3 IUIs, after which I was diagnosed with deep infiltrating endometriosis stage 4. As I was 37 at the moment and endometriosis is on a large part of my rectal area and I need a definite bowel resection, they told me to go straight to IVF first, as the recovery will be difficult for my case, I will require stoma bag. Also, since it is on my colon, it shouldn’t interfere with my chances to get pregnant anyway.

In Germany, most of the clinics do the same protocol for everyone and they did the same to me: I had 3 unsuccessful fresh transfers (my E2 was very high and I was so inflamed and suffering, I knew they wouldn’t work) and 2 frozen transfers. I actually had 5 courses of stimulations in total (2 were cancelled due to preterm ovulation, one right before egg retrieval, one after) and I think this aggravated my endometriosis a lot.

After this, I pushed for more research and got diagnosed with diffuse adenomyosis. Again, I was told there is no need for MRI as it is “everywhere“ and very visible on an ultrasound. I had a long talk with my gynaecologist, fertility and endo specialists and menaged to get suppression with Enantone (Leuprorelinacetat). After 1 month on it, my E2 was high 277pg/ml, I had one functioning cyst on my ovary - 35mm (LH 3,42 IU/L, FSH 1,52 IU/L, Progesterone 0,19ng/m) and my dr agreed to add Letrozole, which I was insisting on since day 1. After 3 months, my uterine walls went from 16mm and 20mm to symmetrical 12,5mm and my adenomyosis has visibly calmed down.

All my prior transfers were natural modified so this time, we proceeded to fully medicated right after suppression. My lining managed to grow to perfect 9-9,5mm and we added prednisone, famotidine, loratidine and aspirin (kitchen sink) to the protocol to my insisting, even though it is very uncommon to do so here. Today was my beta and my embryo (5-day, 4AB grade) failed to implant. So I had 6 complete implantation failures through IVF and 3 through IUI. 

I am planning to do another fully medicated cycle right away, since I am still suppressed. My Dr suggested transferring 2 blasts this time, would that make sense? Is there anything else that could help and improve my odds?

Sorry for the very long post, I am all over the place today, I might have forgotten to add some important info.

One ”positive” thing is that all my prior transfers were done on absolutely inflamed uterus with raging adenomyosis, so I don’t think my embryos had any decent chance until this one, which does give me a little hope, since they are not tested and I am 39 now.

Thank you to everyone who read this whole post, I appreciate it!