This is a real struggle for me. Flirtation, sexual tension/intimacy, anticipation etc are probably the biggest dopamine rushes my brain can get, and because of that they trigger my worst hyperfixations.
Nobody around me really knows because externally I play it very cool, but internally it completely takes over. When it happens I think about the person constantly, struggle to sleep, feel horny all the time, get restless when I'm not around them etc. It genuinely impacts my day to day life.
For context, me (31F) and my partner (29F) are married but semi-open, and currently we have a friend where there’s been a lot of flirtation and a few sexual moments. I’m honestly really glad I understand ADHD/hyperfixation well enough to recognise what my brain is doing, because otherwise I think I’d mistake it for something much deeper or more permanent.
But my god it is torture sometimes. I get such an intense dopamine rush from being around her that I feel almost emotionally regulated only when I’m in her orbit. When I’m not with her I actually handle it pretty well externally, I don’t message her or try to force things to happen, it’s more that my brain just loops on it constantly in the background.
Would genuinely love to know if other ADHD women experience this kind of hyperfixation specifically around sexual/romantic attention because it feels incredibly intense and isolating sometimes.