u/Equivalent-Fan-1559

Hello, I am a single mother of a 4 month old baby boy. Part time CNA and a Sophomore in college for Respiratory Therapy. Me and dad are having issues with co parenting timings. He is suppose to get baby Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays. At first he would ask to get the baby the night before and it was never consistent days, but we are in the process of having a consistent and set schedule. I start school August 24 and my school schedule will be 8 am- 3 pm. Yesterday I picked up a shift at work from 7 am- 3pm and asked if the baby was able to stay with him until I got off of work. He said yes and told me I would have to drop him off to his mother because he works until 8 am. Well I suggested that since I am going to school full time now we should just do the schedule as 7 am-3pm so he can have the baby longer. At first he said he was going to get him around 3 pm after I get out of school but I told him if he does that with it about to be getting cold outside and what not he would only have him for a couple of hours. When I presented that time he told me that he would want to keep the baby until 5 pm because he works 3rds and has to go to sleep after work and he isn’t going to get enough time with the baby because he’s going to be sleep and his mother will be watching him while he’s asleep, and I just don’t agree with that when I have to work plus go to school and come home and take care of my baby, I don’t ask my mom for help to watch the baby while I’m sleeping so why should I have accommodate for him to sleep in when I don’t even get the opportunity or choice to sleep in and stop parenting? I told him to sleep when the baby sleeps. My has a set bedtime and awake time. He goes to sleep around 9:30, 10:00 pm and wakes up at 9:30:10:00 which gives him 2 hours of sleep before baby gets up and care starts for him. He also goes to work at 11 pm so even after baby leaves he would have enough time to go to sleep. So I told him it’s either we 7 am-3 pm or 3pm-6:30-7 pm if he wants to sleep in. Now he’s determined to do the 7 am-5pm and told me if I drop him off he was going to keep him until 5 pm, which I didn’t agree to. So I told him until we get the times in order he won’t be able to come. Because I do not want him to keep baby to a certain time we did not agree with. Not to mention we live 21-25 minutes away from each other, my school is only 5-10 minutes away from his house. So me or him don’t have to drive a far distance. If I am at school I can just easily pick him up while I’m out by his house and me or him have to drive long distance to each other for pick up and drop off. What do you guys think, I need advice on what times would be best and how to come to a agreement. We need to get something right for what’s best for the baby and not for ourselves.
SUMMARY: I DON’T THINK IT’S A NEED TO ADD AN EXTRA 2 HOURS JUST FOR SLEEP. 8 HOURS IS MORE THAN ENOUGH. PLUS I AM BEING ACCOMMODATING SO WE BOTH DON’T HAVE TO DRIVE 21-25 MINUTES AWAY. BECAUSE FOR ONE, HE DOESN’T HAVE A CAR. HE WOULD HAVE TO USE HIS MOM’S TO DROP HIM OFF. AND IF MOM ISN’T HOME, I WOULD HAVE TO TAKE THE DRIVE TO GET HIM. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT LOL. SECONDLY, I GAVE HIM AN ULTIMATUM: IF HE WANTS TO SLEEP IN, WE CAN KEEP 3 PM-7 PM LIKE IT WAS ORIGINALLY AGREED UPON.
QUESTION: WHAT TIME DO YOU THINK IS BEST FOR BABY

Co-Parenting Infant

Co Parent Timing Issues