So, I have this friend in college right? I have hung out with her pretty much all the time since semester 1, so i am currently at the end of my second academic year.
But since the 1st sem, I have had this weird feeling about her, but I just don't know what. Like, idk if i am judging her based on her lack of social life or lack of friends, but I also lack social life so I don't really care about that, and I have another friend(in another dept) that I have fun with, so I ain't looking for fun and stuff.
For some reason, our conversations always feels so gossipy and I don't if I am the one who initiates it or it naturally leads in that direction but my conversations with other people never seems to go that way?
And it just feels like she's hypocritical sometimes yk, like she expects too much from people that she has done nothing for, and she's also too focused on stuff like, oh this person didn't like my story but that person isn't even her friend tho, so I don't really understand. And she has had some bad experience with people in our department, who basically ditched her and stuff so I can understand that she feels negative about them and yeah, those people are pretty weird. But like she's negative about everyone right, like someone could simply glance in her direction and she would overthink it and stuff, and tell me that he/she was rude or something but people don't care that much. And this has made me start overthinking too, and every time I tell my school friends or other college friends about this overthinking stuff, they make me realize I am just being dumb.
And she's not that career focused? Like she said she wanted to start a business and she does have the financial backup for it, but she's not focused on getting any job or anything, so it kind of has this dry unmotivated environment when I am with her? And I genuinely don't know what to speak about with her and stuff.
The thing is, friendships develop over the years right, but it feels like we are stuck at the first week of sem 1. And I have been rude sometimes, because honestly I get so stressed out from this friendship for some reason and I thought ,maybe if I act off, she might go find other people, but she hasn't. But idk. It's just such a weird friendship.
I don't like it tbh, but like, I also don't have an exact reason to leave except this vague uncomfortable feeling