What are we?
Me and my boyfriend have recently started a kind of sexual relationship with one of my best friends (we are all men if that’s of any importance). It doesn’t ruin the friendship me and that friend has had but it has definitely deepened it in a new way. Me and my boyfriend don’t want to date this man, and he doesn’t want to date us as he has intentions of finding a girlfriend later on. Right now he just wanted to join us in having fun on a sexual level, but also in a friendly way (we plan on having a travel trip and sightseeing).
Yesterday, we were having a kind of discussion on what we would label ourselves and refer to each other as. My friend suggested something like “poly situationship” but my boyfriend seems to hate the idea of being called polyamorous/poly because he said he would only ever want to officially date me. He considers himself monogamous because of this fact that he would only date me. He said he would consider us “swingers,” but that still leaves the question on what our entire group would be called in including my friend. My friend wants to label the situation/group he’s associated with because he takes himself very seriously and even though we are not all dating officially, he doesn’t think it’s just some random thing to not be taken as seriously.
We have all said we love each other before (even though I love them both in different ways than I can really describe) I also agree that this isn’t just some kind of random sexual relationship and I value my friend as more than just someone to have there for us sexually.
I don’t know what to call it if not a poly-something. Idk chat! Let me know!!
TLDR:
Me and my boyfriend are in a sexual relationship with my friend and we don’t know what to label it because my boyfriend sees himself as monogamous because “he would only ever date me” (officially). He doesn’t like to use the word poly as a description.