Am I (28f) reading too much into these patterns with my boyfriend (29m)?
My boyfriend (29m) and I (28f) have been together for four years and I'm noticing a handful of behaviors/events that seem to share a common thread- that I'm not on the same level as him. Be it socially, financially- hell, even intellectually.
When we discuss general roles in society (woman caretaking, men providing- that kind of thing), the conversations always end up getting extremely heated. One night we were discussing physical preferences in dating and he asked why women only want to date tall men (he is well over 6'0 so this has never been an issue for him). I responded by asking why him and his friends wouldn't date an overweight woman, in an attempt to prove my point about preferences. His tone flipped and he ended up calling all women stupid and saying that comparison didn't make any sense. I went home halfway through the argument because he was talking so disrespectfully. Ever since then, if I bring up a point or fact that I know is true, he'll debate it until I get so annoyed, I drop it. Just for his male friends to bring up the exact same point and my bf will agree with it without hesitation...but with me, it was an argument. I have changed jobs for him because he didn't want to spend his life with a server (I very recently discovered its because he has no respect for them). But when I remind him to be patient while driving, I'm met with a response along the lines of 'this is who I am'.
We have fun and laugh together all the time, he really is my best friend. But I can't shake this feeling that he thinks he's better than me. I've been doing really well in my new job and when I share details about my day- both negative and positive- it's usually met with 'I could easily do your job'. One time I did straight up ask him to his face if he thought he was better than me and he paused for an uncomfortably long time. I really do feel like just another silly girl around him 60% of the time.
Please tell me if I'm overreacting or imagining it, and if anyone's experienced a situation like this before?